What It's Like
by ohsnap its potter
Summary: Due to a potions incident, Sirius and Lily switch bodies. Not good. Lily is freaking out, and Sirius decides to play cupid. Not good at all. LJ. COMPLETE
1. Goblet of Potion

A/N: Well, here's a new story that I have been planning to write for quite some time. Now that Their Time of Need is done, I figure I'll start writing this one, and continue Pursuing Lily Evans, so it's still two stories at once. Those reading PLE, I'm having trouble writing this next chapter, but expect an update in a day or two. I'll never forget about that story. And those awaiting the sequel to Their Time of Need, I'll post it most likely when Pursuing Lily Evans is done, as to mantain the 'two stories at a time.'

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

* * *

Lily Evans sat with her fingers lightly drumming the table. She was in Potions, and Professor Slughorn had just finished telling the class about a concoction that could cure illnesses.

The big man before her patted his belly as he looked around the room. "Alright, we'll have Potter and Fairbanks, Snape and Lupin, Evans and Black…" He continued listing the assigned partners until everyone in the room had been paired. "Alright, off you go."

"So Lily-Pad; looks like we're partners for potions today." Sirius sang, grinning at the redheaded, fiery tempered girl before him.

"Mm…" Lily mumbled distractedly, squinting her penetrating green eyes to look at something intently.

"LILY EVANS!" Sirius barked, "Are you staring at James' rump again?"

That shook Lily out of her revere. She upturned her head to look at the handsome figure before her in disgust, his dark hair sweeping across his face.

"His _what_?" She hissed.

"You know? His arse, butt, bootay…"

"That is the single most disgusting thing I have ever heard anyone say." Lily snapped, slamming her book shut.

"Then what were you looking at?" Sirius asked gleefully, clearly enjoying tormenting her.

"The directions on the board." Lily said defiantly, placing her hands on the table and heaving herself to her feet. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go get the ingredients for our potion."

Sirius shook his head sadly at James who was looking hopeful at the prospect of Lily staring at his 'rump.'

James had liked Lily for quite some time, first year in fact. The feeling was not mutual. No one could see why she didn't have feelings for him…feelings besides hate and annoyance. James was handsome with his untidy hair and his wire rimmed spectacles. He had a nice build, years of quidditch to thank for that.

He could get almost any girl he wanted. Any girl except Lily. She was rather short, at least compared to James who towered above her, and had these emerald eyes that were easy to get lost in. She had a temper, true, especially when it came to James or another one of the Marauders, but her hair was equally as fiery.

Lily strode over to the cupboard full of supplies with her cauldron and began filling it with the required ingredients. When she finished filling it, she spun around to find Sirius blocking her from getting past.

"Why won't you give him a chance?" Sirius questioned, leaning against the cupboard.

"I'm not having this conversation again, Black." Lily groaned as the cauldron began to slip from her grasp. "Now _move_."

Sirius shook his head, "No can do unless you give me a proper answer." He stuffed his hands in his pockets to prove that he was going to get comfortable.

"Sirius!" Lily cried, turning red from trying to stop the cauldron from falling.

"Answer." Sirius said sternly. "Or I won't move."

Lily sighed and narrowed her eyes, "You asked for it, Black."

"Wha-?" But Sirius didn't have time to finish, for Lily had adjusted the cauldron in her arms and plowed forward, smacking Sirius right in the middle.

"_Oohh…_" He mumbled in pain as he clutched his stomach and leaned over.

Lily flipped her hair over her shoulder and set the black, rusty cauldron on the table. She pulled out the ingredients.

"I told you to move." Lily said, smiling as Sirius collapsed onto a seat, his face contorted with pain.

He glared at her and folded his arms across his chest, "You're a beast."

"And _you're _annoying." Lily retorted, taking out a knife and sticking it in a weird fungus.

"_And you're annoying._" Sirius said, mimicking her voice and narrowing his eyes even more.

"Help." Lily said, shoving a black seed into his chest.

Sirius moved the cauldron more to the middle of the table, "What am I supposed to do with this?"

"You'd know if you had listened," Lily said, giving him a taunting smile.

"Okay." Sirius said, "I see what you're trying to do."

"I don't even know what I'm trying to do." Lily moaned, "What are you talking about?"

"You're trying to make me feel stupid." Sirius said, "You're putting me on the guilt trip so I'll apologize. But I have news for you. I won't."

"Sirius," Lily spoke in mock wonder, "You don't miss a thing."

Sirius chucked the seed into the potion that Lily had been steadily working on angrily. It sputtered a bit and turned an odd shade of orange.

"SIRIUS!" Lily cried, "What do you think you're doing?"

Sirius didn't answer, he just tore the long, brown plant away from Lily and tossed it in the potion.

"STOP!" Lily shouted as the cauldron began coughing up now green liquid. "You're doing it all wrong!"

"So?" Sirius said, "Slughorn's in love with you anyways, I bet he'll give it a perfect."

"Not when it's green!" Lily cried, biting her lip, "It's supposed to be gold."

"You're a big enough teacher's pet." Sirius said, "Figure a way out of it."

"Oh no." Lily said, "_You_ are the one who ruined it in the first place!"

"_You are the one who ruined it in the first place._" Sirius said mockingly.

"Stop mimicking me." Lily spat angrily.

"_Stop mimicking me._"

"STOP SIRIUS!" Lily cried, standing up in a rage of annoyance.

"_Stop Sir-_" He stopped to find that the cauldron was tipping. "Nice going, Ace." He mumbled as it fell over completely and doused him in the green, thick potion.

Lily burst out in laughter, "HAHA!" She cried loudly, pointing to him. "You look like dying tree."

"Is that so?" Sirius asked, standing up and sending some of the potion splattering to the floor. "Well…you look like a…LOSER."

"You are such an idiot." She shrieked.

"Oho!" Professor Slughorn laughed, causing his middle to jiggle slightly. "What's going on you two?"

"Sirius ruined the potion." Lily said immediately, not caring that the entire class was staring at them.

"And Lily dumped it on me." Sirius retorted, "See?"

Slughorn shook his head, "You two, I believe this is what they call flirting."

"Sick!" Lily cried.

Sirius' eyes widened in shock.

"YOU NASTY MAN!" James said in disgust, standing up. "They were NOT!"

The Professor just laughed heartily, "Alright you two, you can come back later and make a new potion, alright?"

"When?" Lily asked quickly, eager for a new chance to get a passing grade.

"Before dinner." He said, "You can eat with me!"

"Oh goody." Sirius said sourly, smiling painfully wide and giving him the thumbs up.

"I'll see you two later then." Professor Slughorn said, not noticing the angry expressions from both Sirius and James.

---

"Ugh." Sirius said hours later, "Time for that dinner and make-up potion lesson with Loser and Freak."

"You are not a freak." Remus laughed.

"I was talking about Lily and Sluggy." Sirius said, not noting that his friend was joking.

Remus had sandy blonde hair that fell about his rather handsome face. He looked rather weary often, seeing as he had another side to him; a werewolf side. Every full moon he would transform in a place called the Shrieking Shack.

"_Were_ you flirting with her?" James asked suddenly, staring at Sirius in irritation.

"PRONGS!" Sirius said, "You know I would _never_ do that."

"I know…" James said, and he truly did.

Sirius did think that Lily was pretty, but James had feelings for her. Sirius considered her a friend...when they weren't dumping potion on each other, and he didn't think of her as anything more.

"I wish Professor Slughorn would let me redo my potion." Peter said quietly, "I didn't do too well on it.

Peter Pettigrew was a short fellow, and rather plump. Unlike Sirius and James who always got the ladies, Peter was quieter. He was very fond of his three friends, and together they called themselves the Marauders.

The Marauders. They were really well known, and they referred to themselves some of the time as Padfoot, Prongs, Mooney, and Wormtail.

"At least you had a reasonable partner." Remus said bitterly, "Snape is awful."

"What did you expect from Snivellus?" Sirius sneered. Sirius came from a dark wizard family but despised everything about it. Severus Snape was the one boy that the Marauders completely and utterly despised.

"I had a nice partner." James said, "Elizabeth Fairbanks."

"She's quite the looker." Sirius said with a wink, heading for the door.

The four boys were in their common room, scattered around and doing their own things.

James nodded, "She's Lily's friend too."

Sirius turned the handle of the door and descended the stairs, looking around the common room for a patch of red hair.

"Let's make this quick."

Sirius jumped and spun around to find Lily looking particularly tired.

"Okay piss ant." Sirius said in fake cheerfullness.

Lily punched his shoulder, "Prat."

They exited the common room, Sirius keeping a fair distance from Lily, and rubbing his shoulder sorely. "You punch like a man."

"That was my left hand." Lily said, lifting up her head to hold it proudly.

"Yeah…well your left hand hits like a man." Sirius said.

"Maybe you are just a baby." Lily said, rolling her eyes.

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Am not, am not, am not."

Lily swung open the door to the Potions room and let it shut before Sirius could fully enter.

"You're such a sweetie." He said dryly.

"Why hello!" Professor Slughorn boomed, "How are you two, today?"

"Fine." They said together, their tones telling him they were lying.

"Well come on in." He said.

"We are in." Sirius pointed out the obvious.

"Oh, er…right. Well," He paused, "How about we have dinner first and then you work on your potion?"

They nodded and took their places at a table in the middle of the room that was covered in assorted food that looked like it was taken off of a table in the Great Hall.

"You're really sarcastic today," Lily told Sirius. "It's annoying."

He rolled his eyes. The two of them had their days where they would get along, but then they had their days like this when they wanted nothing to do with each other.

"How's your dinner?" Slughorn asked after a few minutes of awkward silence.

"Good, thank-you." Lily said, taking a sip of pumpkin juice.

Sirius nodded his agreement and took a bite out of his chicken leg.

"Well," The Professor said, taking one more bite of potatoes and standing up, "McGonagall wanted to talk to me about something." He paused, "She said she thinks I treat students differently…and that I should invite everyone to my parties…rubbish if you ask me. I treat everyone the same."

Sirius snorted but quickly took another bite of chicken.

"You should make your potion," He said, wiping his mouth with a napkin, "And when I get back I'll grade it."

"Thanks again for allowing us to remake our potion!" Lily called as he left the room.

"Okay," Sirius said, pushing his chair away and standing up. "Let's do it right this time, okay? No spills or anything."

Lily stabbed a piece of broccoli with her fork and plopped it in her mouth. She stood up and walked over to the cabinet full of supplies.

"It's a good thing you're such a teachers pet," Sirius said, loading up the cauldron.

"I am not." Lily said, "You're just jealous."

"Mhm." Sirius nodded, "That's it."

"Stop being so sarcastic!" Lily cried, "It's incredibly rude!"

"So is dumping potion on your lover's best friend."

"He is not my lover." Lily said angrily, sitting down at a clear table.

"Not yet." Sirius said with a wink, setting the cauldron down and taking out the ingredients.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Lily asked sharply.

"I think you know." Sirius said, handing her a plant, "Now get to work."

Lily clenched her fists together, "You are so-"

"Sh…" Sirius said, "It's okay…"

"No!" Lily said, "You are such a-"

"Sh…" Sirius said again.

"But I-"

"Sh…"

"Stop telling me to-"

"Sh…"

Lily slammed her hand down on the table, "You are so INFURIATING!"

Sirius laughed and continued cutting up a yellow plant that wiggled. They continued working in stone silence, concentrating on anything other than the potion.

Sirius was naturally smart, and he knew this, too. So instead of concentrating, he thought of ways to get Lily and James together. It really was tiring to hear the two of them bicker. It was worse than him and her, much worse. Sirius was also getting annoyed of hearing James talk about her…all the time.

Lily was busy fuming, no one would let go of the fact that she didn't like James. She never would. No one could seem to get that through their heads, and it was the most frustrating thing.

"Hey." Sirius said suddenly, nodding towards the potion, "Its gold."

Lily looked up, "Finally!"

"Well," Sirius stood up, "I'm going to go."

"No you aren't." Lily said, leaning across the table and pulling him back down, "We have to wait for Professor Slughorn to come back."

Sirius leaned back in his chair and ran his hands over his face, "I have a bloody migraine, thanks to you."

"Well I'm not exactly feeling the best," Lily snapped, "Merlin, Sirius. You're like the younger brother I never wanted."

Sirius gave her a dirty look, "This is supposed to cure illnesses, right? Like stomachaches and stuff?"

Lily nodded before her eyes widened, "Oh no you don't."

"What?" Sirius asked, walking back over to the table with all the food and grabbing his empty goblet, "I want this headache gone."

"It might not be safe!" Lily said worriedly, "Awful things happen when you don't test your potion first."

"Then I'll test it," Sirius said, scooping his goblet into the gold potion. He brought it to his lips and Lily jumped up.

"Don't!" She shrieked, "It's not safe!"

"It's gold like he required," Sirius head, "You are such a wimp."

"Am not." Lily said defensively.

Sirius took a big gulp and held out the goblet to her. "Then try some."

"No." Lily shook her head.

"I feel fine and I took some. Just do it." Sirius urged, shoving it towards her, "Chicken."

"I am not." Lily said, taking the goblet, "And I'll have you know I'm not about to drink some just because I feel peer pressured."

Sirius snorted.

"I'm taking it because you are the most annoying person…besides James, and I have an enormous head ache."

"Then go on." Sirius said, leaning towards her and raising his eyebrows, "Do it."

Lily furrowed her brow and slowly brought the goblet to her lips. She took a large swig and quickly set it back down on the table. "That's _disgusting_."

"But you feel fine, don't you?" Sirius asked.

Lily hated to admit it, but she really was beginning to feel loads better. "Actually I do-"

She stopped abruptly, the head ache had returned, and more powerful than before. She grabbed her head in pain.

"Merlin!" Sirius groaned, clutching his head, "What did you do to the potion?"

Lily didn't have time to say anything, for her head hurt so bad she couldn't speak. She thought she was going to pass out and be sent to the hospital wing, or worse. Sirius was coughing, he was in so much pain, everything was a blur.

And then, as soon as it had begun, it stopped.

"What the bloody hell just happened?" Sirius cried.

Lily's mouth dropped open as she slowly raised her head. She snapped her eyes closed and started hyperventilating.

Sirius was confused, having just recovered from the painful attack on his brain. He stood up slowly, his eyes watering slightly. The room looked different, like he was looking at it from a different angle.

"I don't remember the room being like this," Sirius said as Lily continued having trouble breathing. He ran his hand through his hair to find out that it went on for quite some time, flowing down to his shoulders. "I don't remember having this." He grabbed a fistful of hair and examined it.

Then he slowly started to realize that something was not right. His hair wasn't supposed to be red. Shaking, he slowly brought his hands up to his chest and placed them on the bosoms beneath his dress robes.

"I don't remember having these." He said curiously.

Lily snapped her eyes open and smacked his hands away, "Get. Them. Away." She said through gritted teeth.

And that was when Lily and Sirius began shrieking, looking at each other in complete horror.

That potion certainly did not do what they thought it would.

* * *

A/N: Alright, I hope you liked it, please please review! I want to know if people like this or not to see whether I should continue it. Thanks and Love you all -Lilly.  



	2. Stuck Like This

A/N: Hey everyone, I updated in about a weeks time. That's what I will try to do for the future chapters. I hope you enjoy chapter two!

IMPORTANT: When I say things like, "Lily began walking." I mean Lily Evans who is in Sirius' body. Not the actual body, the person. If you're confused at all in this chapter please please tell me so I can make future chapters less confusing!

Reviewers: I'm glad you all liked this idea, and it's because of you all that I decided to continue it.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

* * *

Lily stared in horror at…herself. It was the strangest sensation, like you were looking in a mirror, only the reflection was feeling its own arse. 

They circled each other, eyes widening with every step.

"This is not normal." Sirius said just above a whisper, "I'm a…woman."

"And I have a…" Lily looked as if she were about to vomit, "A penis."

Sirius rolled his eyes, "You're really immature, Lily." He paused, "Oh Merlin, I'm even starting to _sound_ like you."

Had they not been wizards, they would both have been extremely disturbed. But even as they thought about it, it seemed strange. They hadn't ever heard of something like this happening, even with magic. So, all in all, wizards or not, they were both extremely disturbed.

"I can't think straight," Lily said, "I…I feel like I'm about to vomit…I'm serious…"

"You can say that again." Sirius said, before he gasped, "You _are _Sirius and _I'm_…Lily."

Lily nodded, "We need to go see Dumbledore. He'll be able to sort us out immediately."

Sirius didn't need telling twice. He grabbed a hold of Lily's, or rather, _his_ wrist, and took off out of the room. They bolted down the halls, their minds blurry. They felt as if every eye were glued to them, even though to other people, nothing seemed out of the ordinary.

They stopped outside the stone gargoyle, panting and heaving.

"Sirius!" Lily hissed, "You can let go of my…or yours…or…I don't know. Just drop the wrist!"

Sirius released his tight hold, "You're Head Girl, what's the password?"

Lily stepped forward, "Chocolate Chalgos."

At once the gargoyle leapt aside, revealing a stone staircase. They sprinted up and knocked firmly on Dumbledore's door.

"Professor!" Lily cried, "We need your help!"

The door swung open, Dumbledore still seated at his desk. "What, may I ask, is the matter?"

"Well, I…" Lily paused, this was really rather awkward to explain. How were they supposed to tell Dumbledore that they had switched bodies?

"We switched bodies!" Sirius burst. Well, guess that's how you do it.

Dumbledore arched an eyebrow and placed his fingertips together, "How did this happen?"

Their eyes widened, he actually believed them.

"We were making up our potion for Slughorn, and it's supposed to clear illnesses. When it was finished, we…well we…" Sirius trailed off, "We decided to test it. And now…now I'm a _woman_!"

Dumbledore chuckled. "I'm sorry to hear that. I'll see what I can do to reverse it. In the meanwhile…"

"That's it?" Lily shrieked, somewhat desperately, "You can't just say an incantation or-"

"I'm sorry to say that something like this has never happened in Hogwarts history. Therefore we are not prepared with the proper spells or potion to put you back." Dumbledore said calmly.

"But…how long will it take?" Sirius asked, pulling his now red hair frantically. "I want my body back!"

Dumbledore sighed, "I'll talk to the Professors. I trust you know that they are all very busy." Sirius and Lily nodded. "However, with all of them combined, I'm sure they'll be able to come up with an anecdote in a few weeks or so…"

"WEEKS?" Lily yelled, "Can't you try to find one? I know you'll be able to in less than a week!"

"Well thank-you for believing in my wizarding skills," Dumbledore smiled, "But I have to leave the school for two weeks."

"B-but…" Sirius paled considerably, "What if we _never _change back?"

"I assure you, you will." Dumbledore said reassuringly, "It's just a matter of time."

"Why are you leaving?" Sirius asked.

Dumbledore gave them both a look that plainly said not to ask any questions. "You both know the kind of evil surrounding us. I have to go for a meeting, of a sort."

Lily and Sirius nodded, "Sorry Professor."

Dumbledore shook his head, "I understand your concern, and fear of being trapped in another's body. But think of it as a learning experience. You never know what sort of result you may find." He winked and stood up. "As the Professors attempt to find an anecdote, you two will be attending classes normally."

"Normally?" Sirius asked blankly, "There's nothing normal about this."

"You will also go about your day as if nothing is out of the ordinary. That means," His voice switched into a somewhat stern tone, "That you are not to tell anyone."

"Why not?"

"Whenever a new spell or potion is discovered, the students see fit to try it for themselves. We do not want to cause a panic, or someone attempting to make this potion, and getting even more injured." He paused, "I ask you this; will you promise me not to tell anyone? To keep this as quiet as possible?"

They paused, before reluctantly nodding.

"If you would like to switch back even faster," He continued, "I suggest you two also do some research about this potion of yours."

They nodded for what seemed like the thousandth time since they had entered his office. "Thank-you Professor."

Sirius and Lily headed for the door before Dumbledore spoke again, "I apologize I wasn't of further use."

Shaking their heads and assuring him that they wouldn't tell a soul, they departed his office and emerged once more into the empty corridor.

"DAMMIT!" Sirius shrieked, kicking the wall and wincing in pain.

"He seemed so calm about it." Lily mumbled, her eyes slightly glossy, "Merlin Sirius…we're _stuck_ like this."

They wandered down the halls, their minds a blur. Suddenly, a loud voice interrupted their thoughts.

"Sirius! Lily!" It was James.

"Go away Prongs." Sirius growled, and James frowned, seeing as he thought it was Lily who spoke.

"Since when did you call me Prongs?"

"Potter, we aren't in the mood." Lily spoke coldly, and James' brow furrowed, seeing as he thought it was his best mate.

"What the bloody hell is going on here?" He asked.

"Nothing." Lily said quickly when Sirius opened his mouth, "We have to go."

She grabbed Sirius', or rather, her lower arm, and dragged him down the hall. As soon as they were out of earshot she rounded on him. "We promised Dumbledore!"

Sirius shrugged, "James won't tell anyone."

"Sirius!" Lily pushed him angrily, "You can't tell a soul!"

He folded his arms across his chest before he sighed, "Alright, alright…"

Lily groaned, "I hate this. I'm getting dizzy. I'm looking at _myself_…"

"Let's go to the common room." Sirius said. They both continued walking and soon arrived at the portrait of the Fat Lady. They said the password gloomily, and she swung open to reveal the common room.

"I'm going to bed." Lily mumbled, striding to the stairs and beginning to walk up. As soon as her foot hit the second step, it transformed into a slide and she was sent tumbling back down.

Sirius sniggered, "Oh but Lily. Boys aren't allowed in the girl's dorms."

Lily lowered her voice to an angry hiss, "Don't call me Lily. I'm in your body, so you need to call me Sirius."

She glanced nervously around the common room to see a few students scattered around, some of them laughing at her lame attempt to get up the stairs.

He rolled his eyes, "I'm going to bed. Maybe when I wake up I'll realize I'd dreamt the whole thing." He began to walk up the stairs when he felt Lily grab the back of his dress robes.

"Oh no you don't!"

"What?" Sirius asked innocently.

"Everyone knows you fancy Elizabeth." She whispered, "Hell, everyone knows you fancy _girls_…"

"Your point?"

"You aren't going to sleep up there. You'll sleep…" She paused, "In a chair or on a couch…" She pressed her palms firmly against her eyes, "Good night, _Lily_."

"_Oh, Sirius_…" Sirius said to Lily, smirking slightly as she turned around wearily. "You can't sleep up there."

"Why not?"

"Because you fancy boys." He said in a matter of fact tone.

"Oh, please." Lily placed her hands on her hips, "I am not a pervert."

"Oh and I am?" Sirius asked angrily.

"Yeah, you are!" Lily confirmed, tapping her foot.

"Get your hands off of your hips." He said, looking around the common room, "You look like a girl…"

"I am a girl, prat!"

"Not in my body you aren't." He said, "You have to act as manly as possible."

She rolled her eyes, "I'm not in the mood to talk about this. I need to sleep."

"Well, you'll have to wait until the common room clears out." He said, running a hand through his thick red hair.

"We can't sleep in the common room." She admitted with a groan, "People will think something's up."

"Then what do you propose we do?"

"We should wait until late at night, when we're sure that everyone is dressed and asleep. Then we go upstairs quietly, sleep for a few hours, then get up before anyone else does." She said.

"People we also think something's up if we come to bed late every night!" Sirius pointed out.

"I have an idea." She leaned towards him, "We can say I'm at a head meeting, or…you are I suppose, every night. We'll tell the girls that. And then I'll go up the boy's dorms like usual, and you follow since girls can enter boy's dorms."

"Are you saying I hide?" He asked with a laugh, "No way."

"Come on, Siriu-Lily." She pleaded, "That way you'll be up there to make sure I don't do anything."

Sirius nodded, "That does make me feel a bit more comfortable."

"And that way you won't be in the same room as three other girls." Lily continued. "The only problem is how to hide you…"

"I have an idea." Sirius said.

About an hour later, after Sirius had informed Lily of the whereabouts of James' invisibility cloak, they swung it over Sirius.

"Okay." Lily took a deep breath and looked over to where she thought Sirius was. "I'll go up, you follow, and you'll just have to sleep on the floor."

Sirius mumbled something under his breath, but Lily didn't bother to ask what it was. She was slowly making her way up the stairs, her heart thumping loudly. Finally, she grabbed the cool handle and swung open the door.

"There you are, Padfoot!" Peter said, "Where have you been?"

"Er…" Lily paused, "The dinner with Slughorn went longer than expected. You know how it is."

Remus nodded in sympathy. "Well, I'm going to bed."

"Where's Prongs?" Peter asked.

Lily shrugged, "I don't kno-"

The door swung open and James bounded inside.

"Right there." Lily finished, smiling slightly.

"What was wrong with you earlier, Padfoot?" James asked her, "You called me Potter!"

"I was…a bit distraught." Lily said, "The make-up potion with Slughorn and all."

"Oh." James said, shrugging. Lily breathed a sigh of relief that he was letting it go at that.

Lily felt something grab her foot and she shrieked, jumping onto the nearest bed.

"What is it?" Peter asked worriedly.

Lily felt like slapping herself silly when she realized it was Sirius under the cloak. She looked for a clean spot in the room where he could sleep. No luck. Every where she looked the floor was covered in assortments of wrappers, clothes, and books. She sighed, wondering faintly which bed was hers.

"Are you okay?" Remus asked, "You look kind of…"

"I'm fine." Lily said quickly, finally figuring out which bed was hers. She walked over and kicked aside a few things, making room for Sirius to sleep.

Sirius groaned from under the invisibility cloak. Couldn't she have made more room? He crawled over and lay down, his body in an odd form.

"Good-night, guys." Peter said, hopping into bed.

"Good-night Pete-" Lily's mouth dropped open before she could stop it. Remus was pulling off his white shirt, and James was unbuckling his pants.

"Something wrong?" Remus asked as he pulled the shirt off his head completely, revealing his toned chest.

Lily gasped, and she thought she could hear Sirius snicker from beneath the cloak.

"Er…no…I'm…fine…" She muttered, attempting to shield her eyes.

James tossed his pants to the floor, and began to remove his shirt.

Lily gulped, and stumbled backwards.

"You sure you're okay?" Remus asked, stumbling slightly as he attempted to remove his pants.

"Yeah…fine…" Lily looked away, "Um…good-night…"

"Night!" James chirped, and Lily snapped her head up to see his tan, toned, quidditch body and plaid boxers.

"Merlin." She whispered.

"What was that?" Remus asked, getting under the covers.

"Nothing!" Lily said quickly, stumbling over to her bed.

"Why are you staring at us like we're bugs?" James asked, pulling off his socks.

Lily wrung her hands together, "I was just thinking…"

"Whatever." Remus said, chuckling slightly.

Lily unconsciously smacked a hand to her forehead and hopped into bed.

Sirius was shaking with laughter, trying desperately not to snort. It was one of the funniest things he had ever seen, Lily trying not to look.

Lily buried her head into Sirius' pillow. She didn't like this. She wanted to be back in her body, and in her bed, But right now she was in the Marauder's dorms, and she could hear Peter snoring loudly.

She shouldn't have so openly gaped at them, and she hoped they didn't suspect anything. Finally, the days events began to catch up to her, and her eyes fluttered closed.

After all, she needed some sleep, seeing as she had no idea of the events that were to ensue the following day.

* * *

A/N: I hope you liked it. It's incredibly difficult to get this story started, but now that it is, I'll add more humor, action and romance. Hope you stick with me. The story will get way more amusing, for these first two chapters were the base for the rest of the story. PLEASE REVIEW. Thanks and love you all, - Lilly.  



	3. A Soggy Sirius

A/N: Alright, here's the third chapter. It's random, but everything needed to be said. I sincerely hope you enjoy it, but any constructive critisism is also appreciated.

Reviewers: Thank you so much, you are all AMAZING.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

---

Lily slowly lifted her head from the pillow. Her head was throbbing painfully and she felt her vision blurring slightly.

"_Oh…_" She groaned, swinging her legs over the side of her bed. She leapt off, and landed on something surprisingly soft.

"WHAT THE SODDING HEL-?"

Lily flopped on her stomach, on top of Sirius who was still under the cloak.

"_Shut up._" She hissed.

"Padfoot…are you okay?" Came a worried voice. Lily felt like crying. Each event was slowly proving to her that she hadn't dreamt all that had happened.

"Yes." She said quietly, getting up shakily.

"You look kind of peaky." Peter said, "Why did you yell like that?"

Lily closed her eyes, "Because I stubbed my toe. And it hurt. No more questions." She tilted her head down and kicked Sirius' side.

He whimpered as quietly as he could, and began following Lily towards the door.

"Don't you need to shower?" James asked, emerging from the bathroom with a towel around his waist. "Remus is next, but then you can take one."

Lily's eyebrows shot up until they were almost lost in her hairline. She tore her eyes away from his damp chest, and looked into his eyes. It was now Sirius' turn to kick her. He punched her in the back of the knee, causing her to keel over.

"You okay, Padfoot?" James asked worriedly, hurrying over and grabbing Lily by the shoulders. "You have a hang over, don't you?"

"I uh…" She paused and pushed him away, "No I do not."

"Sure." James laughed, thumping her on the shoulder.

Lily yelped, "Stop _touching_ me."

James looked startled, "Sorry Sirius…"

Lily quickly strode to the door, tripping over Sirius in the process. She stood up and brushed her hair out of her eyes, looking at James through narrowed eyes. "And put some clothes on!"

Once in the common room, Sirius whipped the cloak off. "Lily! You can _not_ be so obvious!"

"I am not obvious!" Lily huffed.

"Well I don't know what you think is obvious, but it's not exactly normal for me to check out my best mate." Sirius said.

"Check out?" Lily asked in disgust, "He was half naked. I was startled. But I was _not _checking him out."

Sirius rolled his eyes, "You did it last night, and you did it today."

Lily glared at him, "I don't know what you are thinking Sirius Black. But I do not check out James Potter, and I NEVER will."

He chuckled, "Whatever. Come on, let's get to breakfast."

"Oh no you don't." Lily said, grabbing his robes, "We're going to the library to search for ways to get us back. I don't know how much more of this I can take."

"I'm hungry." He said, pouting his lips, "I want food."

"AND I WANT MY BODY!" Lily shrieked before she could stop herself.

Several students who were filing out of the common room looked over, bewilderment written all over their faces.

Lily lowered her voice, "We're going to the library."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"_YES!_"

Sirius shook his head and sprinted out of the common room, Lily right on his heel.

"YOU ARE THE MOST IMMATURE PRAT I HAVE EVER MET!" She cried.

"It's not everyday we hear Sirius Black calling Lily Evans an immature prat." Said Professor McGonagall.

Lily swung around, "Professor! Has Dumbledore told you?"

"He has informed me of recent events, yes." She said; readjusting her spectacles and watching as Sirius sprinted away. "Would you come with me to my office?"

She nodded and followed her, excitement rising with every step she took. Was she going to tell her they had come up with a reverse potion?

"Take a seat."

Lily sat down and looked at her Professor expectantly. "What is it you would like to tell me, Professor?"

"As you know, Professor Dumbledore is out, and he left it to me to see that you two keep this as secret as possible." She paused, "It seems to me that you two are _not _keeping it very quiet."

"No one knows if that's what you're asking, Professor." Lily said hurriedly.

"Not yet, but with the way you two are shouting about immaturity, I'm sure it will only be a matter of time. You must go about life as normally as possible, Miss. Evans, do you understand me?"

She nodded, "I'm sorry, but this is all so surreal, Professor."

Professor McGonagall nodded in understanding, "It must come as a shock to you every time people refer to you as Sirius Black. I've informed other teachers about your status, and they will do their best to come up with a potion."

Lily felt her heart plummet, 'try their best?' This was not sounding good. She left McGonagall's office in a daze, wandering throughout the halls. She was beginning to enter the library when she heard someone calling her, or rather, Sirius', name.

"Padfoot! Oi! Padfoot!"

Lily rolled her eyes and spun around, "What, Pot-I mean…James."

"Breakfast is that way. Why are you heading towards the library?" James asked, shifting his book bag on his shoulder.

She opened her mouth to tell him to go away, when she thought back to the talk with Professor McGonagall. "Oh, er…I was just going to, you know…catch up on my studies…"

"Good one." James laughed, thumping her shoulder again. Lily winced as James pulled her over to the corridor and they began walking to breakfast. "Have you seen Lily yet today?" He asked.

"Yeah…why?" She asked curiously.

"Oh…she's acting really odd, you know?" He said, running a hand through his hair.

Lily swung around to stop him from getting past, "What do you mean, 'odd?'"

"Well…you know…" He swerved around her, "She seemed really happy to see me. Maybe she's finally falling for the Great Potter Charm."

She snorted, "I doubt it."

James glared at her as they arrived at the Great Hall. Lily sat next to Remus, and James sat down next to her.

"Glad to see you could make it, _Sirius_." Sirius said in a falsely sweet voice.

Lily grumbled something inaudible, picked up her fork, and stabbed her eggs rather viciously. Suddenly, she felt something slither around her neck and gnaw at her cheek. She screamed in terror and spun around, holding her fork out in defense.

The Great Hall immediately became stone silent. Lily was face to face with Ruby Staffered.

"What's wrong?" Ruby asked worriedly, and Lily could feel her face competing with the color of her hair, or, what her hair _used_ to look like.

It was definitely not a snake that was around her neck, and it certainly was not biting her cheek. Ruby had put her arm around her, thinking it was Sirius, and began to stroke his face. Lily could have sunk into the ground in embarrassment.

"You…er…startled me." Lily tried to explain. She spun around and sat back down, ignoring the sniggering people beside her. Ruby just shook her long hair out of her eyes and stalked off.

"Way to go, Romeo." James said under his breath.

"Shut up, James."

Sirius watched the two quarrelers in amusement. It was getting rather awkward, James winking at him and such, yet it was equally as amusing to see Lily attempting to get along with him. The only reason she was tolerating him was because she didn't want to blow their cover and break a promise to Dumbledore. Sirius took a sip of his orange juice, his eyes never leaving James. He was pathetic, actually, chasing after a girl who didn't want him. Sirius had felt pity for him for so long, but there was never anything he could do about it.

'_That's it_.' He thought excitedly, '_I'll get Lily and James together by pretending to like him…then when Lily gets back in her body, she'll have spent enough time with him to last her a life time, so they'll break up. But James will stop chasing her because he'd already gone out with her, and that was all he wanted._'

Cleary, this was not very well thought out.

"I'm going to go…freshen up." Sirius said, flipping his hair out of his eyes and winking at James. "I wouldn't mind if someone were to…say, pathetically chase after me."

James choked on his piece of toast as Lily glared at his, or rather, her retreating back.

"Did Lily just…_wink_ at me?" James asked.

"No." Lily said quickly, "Don't be ridiculous. She hates you."

"Then who _was_ she winking at?" James pointed out.

"Me." Lily said, standing up and grabbing her book bag.

Once out in the corridor she felt a hand cover her mouth, and she could feel her heart stop beating in terror. The hand spun her around and Lily was face to face with…herself.

"Merlin, Sirius!" She said in a hushed whisper, "You scared me."

"I know you're going to yell at me." Sirius said, "So I decided to prolong it a little longer by covering your mouth." Lily grabbed his upper arm angrily and dragged him down the corridor. "Er…Lily. I hope you know this looks like abuse."

Lily stomped her foot angrily on the ground and pushed him away. "You prat! What do you think you're doing? James thinks you're…or…_I'm_ in love with him!"

"So?" Sirius said, "I'm going to put a stop to his groveling once and for all."

"I have worked far too long on not falling for him, so you cannot mess it up by having people think you're…winking at him!" Lily said, trying desperately to keep her voice down.

"Lily. Relax. I won't go anywhere near hugging him, even. It's just fun to toy with his mind. But don't worry, nothing will happen." Sirius said.

Lily gagged, "It better not! You're sick Sirius. You…you're a boy, and you're pretending to like another boy…in a girl's body."

"When you put it like that it sounds kind of fishy." Sirius admitted with a shrug. "But oh well, it's fun tormenting you."

"UGH!" Lily shouted, "You bastard!"

"SIRIUS!" Remus shouted, James and Peter on ether of his sides, "Did you just call Lily a _bastard_?"

Lily gasped, "Oh…I um…you know…"

"You've been acting really strange lately, Padfoot." James said, "What's going on?"

"Nothing." Lily said quickly, "I just…I think I need to vomit…" She covered her mouth and sprinted away from them.

"Oh gross." Peter said in disgust.

"I'm going to class." Remus said, and with that he and Peter scurried away.

"So…Lily…" James said, walking over to Sirius, "I saw you, you know…wink at me today."

Sirius' eye twitched, this was rather disturbing, "Oh um…yeah…I did that because you are such a hunk."

"REALLY?" James cried excitedly.

"I mean it." Sirius said, backing away for James was slowly advancing. Maybe this was a bad idea after all, for Sirius was having trouble keeping his breakfast in his stomach. "But I have to go. Toodles!"

James' eyes widened as Sirius flew down the corridor away from him, "_Toodles_?" He muttered non believingly.

Meanwhile, Lily was pacing back and forth outside of the bathrooms, her hands cradling her stomach.

"Lily?" Sirius asked cautiously, "Are you going to puke on me?"

"No." Lily groaned, "I have to throw up though, b-but I don't know what bathroom to go into."

"Duh." Sirius said, "You're in a boy's body, so go in the boys."

"What if there's a _boy_ in there?" Lily asked, her face turning even more green.

"Well, then that's an early Christmas present for you." Sirius said happily, pushing her into the bathroom.

"PERVERT!" Lily shouted from the other side of the door. Luckily no one was in the bathroom, so she scurried over to one of the stalls and released her breakfast into the toilet. She didn't want this to happen; everything was slowly causing her to become nauseous. She was so confused, and she wanted nothing more to be back in her own body.

"You okay?" Sirius asked from the other side of the door.

Lily emerged, wiping her mouth with her sleeve, "Yeah. Let's get to class."

---

Lily and Sirius strode back to the common room later that day. It was rather dark out, and they both desperately wanted to close their eyes and drift off to sleep.

They swung the cloak over Sirius which was still inside Lily's bag, and they walked up the stairs together. Once in the dorm, and seeing that no one was inside, Lily swung off her robe.

"GROSS!" She cried, "There's vomit on it."

"That's mine." Sirius said, looking at his robe in disgust.

"And I still have throw up on me." She moaned, "I need to go shower."

"Wait a minute," Sirius said, "I have to shower, too."

"NO WAY ARE YOU SHOWERING IN MY BODY!" Lily shrieked.

"Well then no way you're showering in mine," Sirius countered.

"Oh please," Lily snorted, "There's nothing you have that could possibly interest me…"

"Yeah right," Sirius said, "It's every girls dream to see a Marauder in the nude."

"Oh, your modesty is astounding."

"The boys are going to be back soon," Sirius said, "We have to hurry."

After several arguments and angry remarks, Lily and Sirius were standing the shower, fully clothed.

"I can't believe we're doing this." Lily muttered as the water poured onto her.

Sirius shrugged, "We could have gone separately, but you wasted too much time, so now we have to shower together and get out before the boys get back."

Lily took the shampoo and lathered it up on her head, while Sirius did the same. It was rather cramped in the small shower, and they were avoiding touching each other by all possible means.

"Move." Lily said, "I need to rinse."

"Well you'll just have to wait." Sirius, who was standing directly under the faucet said. "I'm rinsing, too."

"Hurry up." Lily said, "Imagine if someone saw us."

"No one's going to see us, Lily. Relax." Sirius said, attempting to move to she could rinse.

"Bloody hell." Came a hushed whisper from the door way.

Sirius spun around, slipping and tumbling out of the shower and unto the floor. "J-James…Remus…Peter…" He said to his three friends crowded outside the bathroom door, their eyes wide, "How are you?"

Lily shrieked and attempted to cover herself up.

"Sirius stop screaming!" James cried, "You're fully clothed! Thank Merlin…"

"You have some explaining to do." Remus said, but when Sirius and Lily began saying different excuses at the same time, he held up his hand to silence them. "Never mind. I don't want to know."

With that they closed the door, leaving a very wet and soggy Sirius on the floor, and a very distraught Lily.

"Well," Sirius said in what he hoped was a light and cheery voice, "Day one as each other went fairly well..."

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A/N: I love pleasing you all, and I hope this chapter did just that. If you are confused or dissapointed, please tell me. Or, if you are happy with this chapter, I'd love to hear that, too... ;) Please review. Thanks and love you all - Lilly


	4. Compromising Situations

A/N: Alrighty, another update. Yay. Okay, so this chapter is pretty much all about urinating...but it needed to be done to prove that it was more than slightly awkward. I hope you enjoy it.

Reviewers: Oh, how I love you all. Keep it up.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

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Lily cringed at the glare she received from James the following morning, "What was that for?"

"I don't know." James said stonily, giving her yet another evil look.

"Look, Potter, nothing happened." Lily said, "You're making a huge deal out of nothing."

He knelt down, picked up a dirty sock that was under his bed, and 'accidentally' threw it at Lily's face.

It hit Lily on the forehead, and slowly but surely, it slipped off and fell to the floor. She stood there for a while, looking James directly in the eye, "You are a prat, you know that?"

"You know I fancy her, Sirius!" James said, picking up another sock and chucking it at her, "What the hell were you doing showering with her?"

"That can't be considered showering." Lily said defiantly, "Our clothes were on."

"Surprisingly, that doesn't seem much better." James snarled, picking up his dirty underwear and throwing it at her.

"STOP DOING THAT!" She shrieked, "Look, I'm sorry. It's just…we had to do that for reasons that I can't tell you right now."

"Is that so?" James asked, "Well, the other day I asked if you two were flirting, and you said no. Now I'm beginning to think you WERE."

"That's grotesque! Me and Black? I mean, er…Evans!" Lily paused, her anger flaring up inside her. James was treating Lily like she was some sort of property, telling Sirius to keep away from her and all. "James, has it ever occurred to you that maybe Lily just doesn't like you? And never will?"

James gritted his teeth and lunged for her. Lily shrieked and jumped on a bed, "AH! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! JUST DON'T HIT ME!"

James lowered his fist, "You're pathetic, Padfoot. What's gotten into you? Usually you fight back."

The two boys rarely got in fights, maybe one or two in their seven years of knowing each other, but when they did, it was not pretty.

Lily clutched her heart; that was one of the most frightening events she'd ever gone through. She could hear Sirius attempt to muffle his laughter from beneath the cloak, and she 'accidentally' stepped on his hand.

"Look, James…I'm sorry." Lily said, "And you'll never find me and Lily in another compromising situation like that, okay?"

James nodded, "Alright. I forgive you."

Lily breathed a sigh of relief and grabbed her book bag, "I have to go. Bye." Quickly she scurried out and ran down the stairs, into an empty corridor. Sirius took off the cloak from right beside her, causing her to jump. "Merlin! Did you see how close he was to hitting me?"

"You're such a wimp." Sirius laughed, casually strolling down the corridor, well, almost casually, for he was swinging his hips profusely.

"Why are you walking like that?" Lily snapped, not liking being called a wimp.

"I've had to urinate ever since last night."

"YOU HAVE TO WHAT?"

"I HAVE TO URINATE!"

Lily's eyes widened as people stared at Sirius, who was in her body, with amused glances. "Don't yell like that!" She hissed.

Sirius shrugged, "Anyways, I couldn't go last night because they came, and I couldn't go this morning because you took forever talking with James, and now…now I'm not so sure what to do."

Lily bit her lip, "Well. I…I don't want you to see anything."

"Well that's kind of unpreventable, considering I have to wipe." Sirius said nonchalantly.

Lily punched him in the shoulder, "No, no, no, NO!"

"Is that a…no?" Sirius asked as a smirk played across his lips.

Lily punched him again, "THAT IS DEFINATLY A NO!"

"Lily!" Sirius shrieked, "You're looking an abuser again. That cannot be good for my reputation."

She ran a hand through her hair, "Can you hold it?"

"For a week? Or for two weeks?" He asked, and Lily immediately realized he would have to go sometime.

"Just for breakfast, I need to figure out what to do." She said.

Sirius nodded, "Okay, but don't mention the word 'pee' or 'urine' around me."

After agreeing, they began their walk down to the Great Hall. She certainly did not want Sirius seeing anything he wasn't supposed to. But what would she do? She couldn't make him hold it, for they wouldn't know how long it would be.

"Lily?"

Maybe she could make him wear a diaper. No, then he would have to put it on…

"_Lily?_"

Maybe she could put a spell on him that would prevent him from having to pee. No…that couldn't be good for her bladder…

"LILY!"

"What?" Lily asked irritably, turning to face Sirius. That was when her jaw dropped to the floor. Well, not really, but it did drop a fair distance. There were several sniggers and uproarious laughter, and Lily could definitely see why.

Sirius was standing there, legs crossed and hands over his face, a wet line down his pants.

"You _didn't_." Lily whispered.

"I um…I'm pretty sure I did." Sirius said, his hands still over his face.

Sirius Black had wet his pants in Lily Evans body.

Lily grabbed him by the back of his robes and dragged him down the hall, her own face burning with embarrassment. Now everyone was going to think that _she_ had bladder control problems.

"YOU STUPID IDIOTIC PRAT!" She cried once they were out of earshot.

Sirius finally emerged from behind his hands, "I couldn't help it. I didn't even notice until I felt it on my leg."

Lily shuddered, "Y-you…you completely and utterly just ruined my reputation."

"Look at it this way," Sirius said lightly, "You gained a new one as 'the girl who can't control her urine.'

Lily pushed him angrily, "Sirius I am so pissed right now. I am so unbelievably…"

"Hey!" Sirius said defiantly, "_You_ were the one who told me to wait until breakfast, so it's your fault that this happened. AND!" He continued as Lily opened her mouth, "You are the one whose body is physically challenged. I mean, how hard is it to control your bladder?"

"Obviously too hard for you." She hissed, "I can't talk to you right now. I need you to go away."

"Well maybe I need _you_ to go away."

"SIRIUS!"

"That's not my name when I'm I this mental, can't control my own urinating functions body."

"LILY!" She corrected, before shaking her head, "Ugh! You are the most annoying person…"

"Relax." Sirius said, "I'm sure no one noticed, okay? I mean yeah, like four fifth years saw, but that's it."

This did comfort her a little. "Okay," She pulled out her wand and cast a cleaning spell on him, "Well, guess we don't have to worry about you having to pee now, do we?"

He shook his head, "Nope, pretty sure I'm good now."

She grinned slightly, and they continued their walk to the Great Hall. When they got there, Lily thought she heard people talking about her, but she quickly assured herself that she was imagining things.

When she sat down next to Peter, she immediately realized that consoling herself wouldn't do any good.

"I heard you wet yourself, Lily." Peter said while James and Remus had a hard time keeping a straight face.

"She did not!" Lily said quickly, "It was a prank…you know how Lily is such a prankster…"

"No she's not." Peter said, and Lily smacked him over the back of the head.

Breakfast went by slowly, as did the rest of the day. Slowly, Sirius' whole wetting himself escapade drifted away. Lily sat in her last class, legs crossed and her face sweating.

"Sirius." She hissed quietly, "I have to go now, too."

"Well," He whispered, "You know what to do."

Lily punched his arm and Peter gasped. "Sirius!" He murmured, "You just punched a girl."

She rolled her eyes, "_That_ is hardly considered feminine." She probably shouldn't have said that, for Peter gave Sirius really disgusted glances.

Finally, at long last, the bell rang. Lily clambered to her feet and burst out of the room, Sirius on her heels.

"You two are spending an awful lot of time together," Remus said, raising his eyebrows.

The pair of them shrugged, "We're best friends." Sirius said.

"No we aren't." Lily said, crossing her legs and hopping from one foot to the other.

"Wow." Peter said in wonder, "Where'd you learn to dance like that?"

"I'll tell you later," Lily said, grabbing Sirius' forearm, "We have to go though, bye guys."

They took off down the hall, leaving the three boys scratching their heads in confusion. Together, they scurried to the common room, and after shouting the password to the fat lady, they ran up to the boy's dorms.

"Okay." Lily said, "I have to go pee."

Sirius shrugged, "Then go."

She shook her head, "I'm not touching it…"

He snorted, "Then put on rubber gloves." At this he pulled out his wand, waved it in thin air, and soon there were pair of rubber gloves in his hand.

Lily smacked them away, "I'm not looking at it either."

He rolled his eyes, "Merlin, you are immature."

"Says the boy who just wet himself."

"Sod off."

"Why don't you?"

Lily pulled out her own wand and conjured up a rain slicker.

"What the bloody hell?"

"I don't want your urinate on me." She said, swinging it onto her.

Sirius threw his hands up in exasperation, "You're insane. It's not sodding toxic. It's pee!"

Lily shook her head, "Sirius. I don't want to touch it."

"FINE!" He barked, pulling the gloves on his hands. "I'll do it."

She shook her head yet again and backed up against a dresser, "That's disgusting…"

"Says the girl who's wearing a slicker."

She huffed angrily and crossed her arms across her chest, "Sirius I really have to go…"

"You aren't wetting yourself in _my_ pants!" He said, pushing her into the bathroom. He knelt down, screwing up his nose in disgust. This was beyond awkward. Slowly, he unzipped the pants.

So far so good.

Lily tipped her nose to the ceiling; she didn't know why she was so disgusted. Wait, yes she did. All this in the name of urinating.

"Okay." Sirius looked away. "Go."

Lily nodded and sighed in relief.

"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL?"

Lily and Sirius slowly turned their heads to the door. They could've guessed who it was, though. Remus, Peter, and James were all standing their, eyes wide and mouths open in disgust.

Sirius held up his rubber gloved hands in defense, "It's not what it looks like!"

"There's a perfectly normal explanation for this." Lily said, pulling her slicker tighter around her.

"Okay." Remus said slowly, "Next time you two are in the bathroom doing _Merlin_ knows what, can you please do us all the favor and remember to lock the door?"

Sirius nodded and gulped as Lily zipped up her pants, "Uh…yeah…we'll remember that next time…"

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A/N: I know, I know, so much talk about pee, so little time. But I hope you enjoyed it, and now that the whole "I have to urinate" thing is out of the way, be prepared for even more chaos. :) Okay, please review! Thanks and love you all - Lilly.


	5. Sirius the Maniac

A/N: Okay, well here's chapter five, I hope you enjoy it. It's kind of an insane chapter, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless.

Reviewers: You all are amazing, thank you so much and keep it up. Oh, and if you all could check out Harry Potter and the Unknown Truth, that would also be amazing. Or go read something by my dear friend Liv.

Oh, and a special thanks to Abbey who helped me out with this chapter.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

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Lily paced around in a full circle, worry filling her gut. She and Sirius hadn't left the bathroom since the Marauders had walked in on them, and now they were walking around frantically.

"James is going to beat me to a bloody pulp!" Lily said as quietly as she could, "If I have to die, I'd rather die in my own body!"

"That's it!" Sirius said, leaning in closer, "I'm in your body, so they won't touch me, seeing as I'm a girl."

"Your point?"

"You are the only one that has to worry."

"Sirius." Lily said through gritted teeth, "You are _not_ helping."

"We have to get out some time or another," Sirius said, suddenly feeling a lot better, "Let's go."

"Sirius, no!" Lily cried as he flung open the door and pushed her out, "No, no, no, NO!" But it was too late, and soon Lily was face to face with three of the Marauders.

"What was going on in there?" James growled.

Lily smiled nervously, but inside she was fuming. Sirius, the bloody jerk. He didn't care if she got beaten up, and he obviously didn't care about her health, seeing as he forced her to drink the potion. Yes, this was all Sirius Black's fault, and she was about to make him pay.

"Sorry, James." She said sweetly, "I know it must have looked really bad, but I have this _severe_ bladder problem."

Sirius, who had followed her out of the bathroom, gasped, "You most certainly do not!"

"Oh, Lily." She said, "You can stop lying now, it's time I came clean."

"You have a bladder problem?" James asked, "Since when?"

"It's been going on for a few years now, but now it's getting so serious that I need help going to the bathroom…"

Sirius glared at her. What did she think she was doing? He did not have bladder problems, it was her body that did. She couldn't even control wetting herself.

"Wow." Peter said quietly, "That's terrible."

"I know." Lily nodded, "And, you know how Lily is so _amazing_ at her studies." They all nodded except for Sirius, who continued glaring. "So I politely asked her if she could help me urinate."

"Stop." Remus said, "This is awkward. But…thanks for clearing it up for us, and I'm really sorry, Sirius. It sounds painful."

"Oh, it is." Lily said, clutching her heart, "I don't know how I bare it."

'_Okay_,' Sirius thought furiously, '_Two can play that game…_'

"James." He said seductively, walking up to him slowly.

"Yes?" James asked, slightly irritated that she had helped Sirius urinate.

"That must have looked really bad, but you know the only boy I have eyes for is you." Sirius fluttered his eyelashes repeatedly.

"Lily, you are so confusing. One moment you hate me and the next you don't." James said, but he looked extremely happy.

Lily ran in between them, "Oh no, James. Don't be stupid, she hates you!"

"Oh Sirius," He said, "You can stop lying. It's time that I confess my undying love for James."

"Undying what?" James asked, dumbfounded.

"James Potter. You are a sexy beast."

"Thanks!" James said, almost breathlessly, "Will you…go out with me?"

"NO!" Lily shrieked, falling to her knees as Sirius looked positively evil.

"Why yes, James." He said slyly, "I would _love_ to go out with you."

James' eyes widened. He had waited for this moment for seven years, and he couldn't believe it was happening. "Saturday evening?" He asked.

Sirius nodded, "I would positively _adore_ that."

A few minutes later, Sirius departed, Lily following. "You stupid arrogant pig!"

He rolled his eyes, "You were the one who told them I had a bladder problem!"

"So?" Lily shrieked, pulling at her hair, "I can't believe you just did that! Go back in there and…_un_do it!"

"What's done is done." Sirius said, "Lily Evans is officially going out with James Potter."

"No." Lily corrected, "Sirius Black who is currently in Lily Evans body is going out with James Potter who thinks it's Lily Evans when in reality, it's his best mate."

"You are one complicated woman." Sirius said, "And I'm tired. So let's sleep."

Lily shook her head, "I'm not going back up there. The humiliation that I am now going out with James Potter…"

"But you aren't, I am." Sirius corrected.

Finally Lily went up stairs, secretively grabbed the cloak, went back down, and threw it over Sirius. Together, they trudged up the stairs and found their beds, or in Sirius' case, place on the floor, and fell asleep.

Sirius woke up the next morning with one of the worst stomach aches he'd ever experienced. He rolled over with a groan to find Lily's, or rather, _his_ arm dangling off the side of the bed. He smirked and yanked it, causing Lily to flip out of bed and land on him with a 'thud.'

"Prat!" She hissed, getting up and making sure to knee him in the process.

"You okay, Prongs?" Peter asked.

Lily nodded and opened up what she thought was Sirius dresser, tossing things aside before she found a spare cloak. She swung it over herself and exited the dorm without looking up for fear of seeing one of the boys without a shirt on. Once in the common room, she looked around for any sign of Sirius. No such luck.

"Sirius?" She wondered aloud, "Where are you?"

It was then that Sirius popped up beside her, causing her to shriek rather femininely.

"Don't do that!" He cried, "It's bad for the reputation." They began walking down to breakfast, when Sirius grabbed his stomach. "Merlin." He said quietly, "For some reason my stomach is very unhappy…"

Lily smirked, "Maybe its guilt."

"And why would I feel guilty?"

"Because, after seven years of me avoiding James Potter, you go and…ruin it!"

They arrived at the Great Hall, and both sat down at the Gryffindor table, the food already on the platters. Lily helped herself to quite a bit, but not as much as Sirius did. He seemed to have been starved for a week, grabbing everything in sight. He took a large bite of toast and took a swig of juice.

"What?" He asked Elizabeth, spraying her with bits of crumbs.

"That was beautiful, Lil." She said, wiping her face with a napkin. "Where have you been lately, I haven't seen you in the dorms for the past few nights!"

"Yeah," Chloe, her other dorm mate said, "If I didn't know better I'd say you were having an affair…"

Sirius nodded, "I have been actually," He said, taking a bite of egg, "I've been sleeping with Sirius Black. He's amazing in bed."

Lily threw a piece of toast, hitting him square in the cheek, "I have never slept with Lily in my life. She's too good for me."

"What?" Elizabeth asked, "I'm so confused."

Sirius took another sip of juice, hunching further over his plate and shoveling more food into his mouth. He leaned back and clutched his stomach, "What's going on?" He asked, rubbing it sorely.

"Do you have cramps?" Elizabeth asked, picking up her bacon and taking a bite.

"What?" He asked.

It was then that Lily dropped her fork with a clatter, "What day is it?"

"The tenth." Chloe said, "Why?"

"Sirius, I mean, Lily…" She said, standing up slowly, "Come here. Now."

"Why?" Sirius asked, shoving a piece of bacon in his mouth, "I'm not done eating."

"You are now." Lily said seriously, standing up and grabbing him by the back of his robes. "_Now come on_!"

"NO!" Sirius shouted as she pulled him to his feet and began dragging him past the Gryffindor table, "STOP PULLING ME!" He broke free of her grasp and ran to someone's plate, snatching their half eaten toast. He shoved it in his mouth as Lily began pulling him again. Sirius' arms flailed as he attempted to snatch even one tiny bit of food.

Therefore, Sirius, who was in Lily's body, was making her look like an extreme pig, and Lily, who was in his body, was making him look like an abuser.

"PUT ME DOWN!" He shrieked, but Lily had dragged him into the corridor. He made an attempt to get back in, but she pushed him away.

"Stop!" She cried, "I need to tell you something that might come as a wee bit of a shock."

"What?" He asked, swallowing the last bit of toast.

"You er…you…" She paused and dragged him down another corridor. She took a deep breath and leaned in, "I think you may have your period."

"MY WHAT? HOLY MERLIN!" He shrieked, jumping away from her, "THAT IS NOT NORMAL!"

"Calm down," Lily said, biting her lip, "It's okay…"

"OKAY? IT'S DISGUSTING. _REVOLTING_. JUST NASTY…"

"Okay!" She said, holding up her hands, "I get it."

Sirius finally calmed down enough to grab her by the shoulders and shake her, "What am I supposed to do?"

Lily shrugged, "I don't know, honestly. I've never been in this position before."

He snorted, "You don't say?"

After a short discussion, they both gathered outside of the girls room. "Okay," Lily said, "You go in and tell me if the coast is clear."

He nodded, walked in, and after a while shouted, "Come on, then!" Lily shuffled inside, turning to look at Sirius who had taken off his robe and was now looking down in pure horror. "What's happening to me?"

She bit her lip harder, trying desperately not to laugh. "Okay, Sirius. I think that maybe you should…you know. Take off your pants, okay?"

"Well, Lily. I didn't know you wanted me like that." He said, unbuttoning his pants and tossing them aside.

She rolled her eyes, blushing, "Okay, now don't look down. I uh…I think I should just…Oh hell, I don't _know _what to do."

It was then that she had an idea. A very insane, non sensible idea. But it was the best idea she had. So, pulling out her wand and conjuring up something, Sirius' face fell.

"What the bloody hell?" He asked in a hushed whisper, "Is that what you girls wear? A pad?"

"I'm surprised at your education, Sirius." Lily laughed, "And no, this isn't a pad, seeing as I have no way to get it on you."

"Then what is it?"

"It's a diaper."

Sirius didn't even laugh, he just sat down on the floor and put his head in his hands. "Honestly. Why couldn't I have switched bodies with someone normal?"

"I was thinking the same thing." Lily said, smacking him over the head. "Now…put this on."

"Over my underwear?"

"Yes." Lily said, "Here." She waved her wand and at once Sirius was wearing a different pair of underwear. "I did that to me this morning. Now you have clean underwear, so put this on."

Sirius took it angrily, "Fine. But I don't know how."

"I'm not helping," Lily said, "Someone will walk in and everything will go wrong."

"Then get out if you aren't going to help." Sirius snapped.

"Fine." Lily said, and with that she exited the bathroom. She leaned against the door when a sixth year Ravenclaw came walking by.

"Excuse me, Sirius." She said, "Could I get in there?"

"Uh…" Lily paused, she really didn't care what this girl thought of her, and it would be priceless to see Sirius' face when she walked in. "Sure, go ahead."

Sirius, meanwhile, was cursing under his breath. He didn't have enough sense to go into a stall, for he was too confused about putting on this diaper. He was irritated, Lily probably said to put it on so he wouldn't wet himself, and it was just an added bonus that it would work as a feminine product.

He placed it over her underwear, trying desperately not to look. It was extremely awkward. If it had been anyone else, he wouldn't have cared as much, but Lily was his friend, and James liked her. Granted, she was pretty, but he just didn't feel right betraying her trust.

So, he placed the diaper on as best he could, and attempted to hold it up with one hand and stick the sides together with the other. He licked his lips in frustration when the doors swung open.

"LILY!" The girl shrieked. Sirius remembered her; they had dated a year ago. Her name was Shelly. And right at that moment, Shelly was frightened.

Sirius screamed and jumped back, but tripped on his pants and fell into a wall. He rubbed his head sorely, blushing to the roots of his hair. "Er…Hi."

He heard uproarious laughter from the other side of the door, and he narrowed his eyes. Lily was behind this. She just wanted to embarrass him, but she should know after seven years to not mess with a Marauder.

He finally secured the diaper on himself, and stood, bolting for the door.

"What are you doing out here?" Lily said, looking around wildly, "Go put on pants!"

"No." Sirius said, "You told my best mates I had a bladder problem, you made me wear a diaper, just, I suspect, for your pure enjoyment of my torture, _and_ you purposely sent that girl in to embarrass me." He paused. "It's payback time, Lily Evans."

"What do you mea-" But she didn't have time to finish, for Sirius and bolted off down the corridor, screaming at the top of his lungs. "STOP!" She cried, feeling the urge to cry. What would everyone say? The Head Girl, running around in a diaper. "COME BACK HERE!" She took off after him.

A bunch of people swerved their heads after hearing the screams, and their eyes widened when they saw who they thought was Lily, running down the corridors in nothing but a tee-shirt and diaper.

Sirius ran about wildly with his arms in the air, screaming as loud as he could. It was strangely freeing for him, and he wondered why he hadn't done this before. He heard an angry shriek from behind him, and he sped up.

James, Remus, and Peter emerged from breakfast, as they had arrived after Lily and Sirius, when they saw a flash of red hair.

"What the?" Peter wondered aloud as Lily bolted by.

"Was she wearing a diaper?" Remus asked aloud. James nodded. "Oh, thought so."

"She's been acting rather odd lately." Peter noted.

"You don't say."

Lily was hot on Sirius' tail. Boy, was she going to make him pay. She ran past the Marauders, and kept on following the maniac called Sirius.

There were several 'whoots' and catcalls when Sirius would run by, and he would have been happy had they not been from boys. He suspected they were kidding however, for he himself wouldn't find a girl in a diaper attractive. Then again, maybe if it was Elizabeth, he would make exceptions.

"STOP YOU STUPID IDIOTIC JERK!" She cried, completely forgetting about her talk with McGonagall. Right then she was so angry, she had no control over what she was saying.

Sirius laughed gleefully as he ran past a pack of boys. "HEY EVANS!" they called, "LOOKING SEXY!"

"I KNOW, RIGHT?" Sirius called back.

Lily blushed, she was completely and utterly furious. Sirius rounded a corner, and Lily knew she was close to catching him. Finally, when she was about an arms distance away from him, she leapt up in the air and tackled him to the floor.

"UGH!" He cried, "GET OFF ME!"

Lily tipped her head up to see people gathered around the pair of them. She rolled off Sirius and got up, brushing herself off. You could have heard a pin drop, it was so quiet. Lily laughed nervously. "She uh…forgot to take her medicine."

"I DID NOT!" Sirius cried from the ground, "I'M PERFECTLY FINE!"

"No, she's not." Lily said, getting down on the floor and putting an arm around Sirius, "She has this illness sometimes, where she feels the urge to, you know…run around in little clothing."

"GET OFF OF ME!" Sirius cried, looking more and more like a mental patient as he squirmed about in Lily's grasp, "I WANT TO RUN AROUND! I WANT TO BE FREEEEEEEE!"

Lily gritted her teeth, she had never been so angry, nor so embarrassed in her life. She didn't know what possessed her to say that she had some sort of illness; she just knew she didn't want people to think she did this regularly.

"Alright, people." She said, scrambling to her feet, "Nothing to see here." She pulled Sirius up with her, and began to pull him away from the crowd. "I'll just take her to the hospital wing."

"BETTER YET, ST. MUNGO'S!" Someone shouted.

Lily blushed even more, panting from restraining the wiggling Sirius.

"GET BACK, GET BACK I SAY!" He bellowed to her as he clawed at thin air. Lily kneed him in the back and he howled in despair, "YOU FILTH!" He shrieked.

So Lily, who was extremely angry and embarrassed, dragged a kicking and screaming Sirius away from everyone. She didn't think he'd normally behave this way; maybe it was the fact that he was emotionally distraught. After hearing the news that he had his period, maybe it damaged him emotionally.

'_Well_,' Lily thought angrily, '_If he's not damaged enough emotionally, when he gets back in his body, he'll be damaged enough physically…_'

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A/N: Ah, the insanity. I hope it wasn't too much, tell me if it was. Alright, so please review and I'll update soon. Thanks and love you all - Lilly.


	6. A FULL Night

A/N: Alright, here we are everyone. I hope you enjoy chapter six!

REVIEWERS! I LOVE YOUU. Did you all not like that chapter though? Er...because i lost many reviewers. I don't mind, I like constructive critisism.

Diclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

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Lily dragged Sirius over to the girl's bathroom and shoved him inside, following after him. Sure, it probably looked rather strange for Sirius Black to be dragging around Lily Evans and joining her in the biff, but as of now, she did not care whatsoever about what happened to his image.

She towered above him, but the only thing that softened her slightly was the fact that he was in her body, and she didn't want to do anything to permanently damage it.

"I am going to carve out your eyeballs." She said stonily.

"You are quite the morbid girl, you know that?" Sirius smirked.

"And then in the empty sockets I'm going to stuff in what's left of your big, stupid arse."

"You know I'm in your body right? So you just called your rear big."

But Lily wasn't listening, for she was too busy fuming. "And then I am going to chop of your legs at the knees and pour sulfuric acid on the bleeding stubs…"

"Er…Lily?" He said, "I think it's time you stop. You're getting rather frightening."

"And then I'll-"

"OKAY STOP!" Sirius cried, "I get it. You're mad."

Lily laughed, but the laugh was manic…angry…insane. Sirius backed away from his body slowly. "Mad? _Mad?_" She hissed. "Mad was the time you poured that potion into my juice to make my arse grow to the size of a large beach ball. Mad was the time you cast a spell on me to say 'I like James. He's foxy.'"

"Oh yeah." Sirius laughed, but immediately stopped at the look on her face.

"But those times they were all repairable. But this…this is low. Even for you. My reputation is completely and utterly ruined." She said, her eyes narrowing with every word.

"Well, at least boys thought you looked attractive." He laughed.

"UGH!" Lily shrieked, "YOU ARE SO FUC-"

He clamped a hand over her mouth, "LILY EVANS! THERE ARE CHILDREN AROUND."

"The only one I see is you!" She shrieked, pushing him angrily.

"Okay, okay. I get you're distraught."

"You don't know what I am. I am…a word not yet in the dictionary."

"The what?" Sirius asked, not yet familiar with the muggle book.

"A dictionary is something…oh _sod it._. The point is no words can describe my anger. I am so pissed I could-"

"Wow." Sirius mumbled. "I guess I could apologize, but I'm not really sorry. That was the funniest thing ever."

Lily's mouth dropped open in fury. She opened and closed it a few times, before shrieking angrily and storming out of the bath room. She sprinted down the halls, feeling tears burn in her eyes. She couldn't, wouldn't let them fall. Crying would mean she was les…

Her eyes widened. "Manly." She mumbled under her breath. She spun back around and bolted down the hall, her jaw set. Finally she found a big crowd of people, still discussing the whole diaper incident.

She looked around and found a large seventh year Slytherin. She pushed him angrily. "Hey. What are you doin' man? Stop talking about my girl."

"Oh, is that so?" He smirked, "Gryffindor's Head Girl still wets her pants and has to wear a diaper?"

Lily pushed him again, her heart thumping loudly against her ribs, "I said stop talking about my girl."

"What are you taking about?" He asked angrily. "And don't push me again, man."

Lily rolled her eyes, she thought Slytherin's were supposed to be mean and fight the first chance they got. Why was the guy being so difficult? "I'll push you if I want to push you." She said, pushing him yet again.

"Maybe you didn't hear me the first time," He said, advancing slowly. "But I said stop pushing me." At this he pushed her hard, almost causing her to lose her balance and fall on her rear.

By then the large group got even bigger, and they were all gathered around, eager for their chance to see a good fight.

'_This is it_,' Lily thought, '_Here's my chance_.'

She pushed him once more, and he went all out and pushed her with all of his might, this time causing her to fly back, making part of the circle move for fear of her landing into them.

Lily fell to her knees, burying her face in her hands. She thought of all that Sirius had done, how her reputation was ruined, and how she wanted nothing better than to ruin his, also. That was when the tears began to come, slow at first, then faster and faster.

The large Slytherin looked around in confusion. "What the hell?"

Lily looked up, "You didn't have to push me that hard." She sobbed.

She was quite the actress, actually.

"What's your problem?" He asked, his eyes widening.

"I j-just don't understand why you did that." She cried, "You could have at least warned me."

Everyone was stone silent, the only noise now was that of Lily's fake crying.

"You are messed up." The Slytherin said.

"Why are you so mean?" She bawled.

The people in the circle looked around in confusion, since when was Sirius one to back out of a fight? Let alone cry like a little baby?

That was when someone began to laugh, then another person, and then yet another. Soon everyone was in hysterics, causing the Slytherin to stomp away angrily.

"Sirius, I knew you were funny, but that was just too much…" Someone laughed, "Did you see his face?"

"What?" Lily asked, "I wasn't joking."

This only caused them to laugh harder, and soon a sixth year was making her way up to who she thought was Sirius.

"Stop swinging your hips so much." Lily mumbled sourly, "You're going to knock someone out."

The girl smiled and got to her knees, looking her in the eye. "I think it's amazing when a guy cries. It shows he's human."

"Yeah, well I'm not human." Lily said, "I'm a monster. Sirius Black is a monster."

"You are not a monster," She said softly, "Does someone need a hug?"

"Get away from me." She said, clambering to her feet. She ran past the crowd, wincing as everyone thumped her on the shoulder, congratulating her on another prank.

She swore angrily and wandered down the hall, often kicking at thin air. No one took her seriously. Lily Evans just could not humiliate Sirius. It seemed impossible. People just refused to believe that Sirius was a freak…

She kicked again at thin air.

"Woah, mate." James said, "I didn't know you were interested in the martial arts."

"Yeah, well, watch out or I may hit you next." She said.

"Okay?" He mumbled in confusion, "Anyways, what was going on back there? Did someone dare you to do that?"

"I did." Someone said seductively.

Lily flinched when she recognized her own voice.

Sirius was walking up to them, still clad in a diaper. "I dared her, James."

James looked at him in confusion, "Uh…Lily? Why are you wearing a diaper? Did someone dare you to do that, too?"

"Nope." Sirius said as Lily felt her lip quiver, "I did this on my own free will. I was actually going to put on pants, but when I saw _Sirius_ taking on that Slytherin, I decided that some more breeze ought to do me good."

"That doesn't even make sense." Lily hissed, giving him the dirtiest look he had ever received.

"Listen, Sirius." James said, "You know what tonight is, right?"

"Thursday?" Lily asked tiredly.

"No." James said, slightly irritated.

"What?" She asked quickly, "Is it Friday?"

"No." James said, again, "It is Thursday. Which means it's exactly a month since last Thursday."

"Very good James!" Lily said in mock wonder, spinning around and attempting to walk past Sirius.

His eyes, however, we were and full of worry. "Mother of Merlin." He whispered.

"What?"

"_Sirius_." Sirius said, "I have to talk to you."

"What if I don't want to talk?" Lily asked, placing her hands on her hips.

James snorted. "I think that whole crying think really did make you less manly, Padfoot."

"Come on!" Sirius pleaded, grabbing Lily and attempting to drag her down the hall. "I need to tell you something…"

"WELL I DON'T WANT TO LISTEN!" She shrieked, "SO GET AWAY FROM ME!"

"Okay." James said quietly, "I'm just going to go. See you tonight, Sirius."

Lily waved goodbye and began stalking off in the other direction.

"LILY – I MEAN, SIRIUS!" He cried, "WAIT!"

"NO!" Lily yelled.

"Please," He sprinted in front of her, "Please just listen to me. I'm begging you. Sirius Black is begging you." He got down on his knees to prove his point.

"Make it quick." She snarled.

"I need a favor. Possibly the biggest favor I've ever asked anyone." He said.

"Oh really?" Lily asked in mock sweetness, "Okay. Well read my lips Black. I am not doing anything _ever_ again to help you!"

"Please!" Sirius said, "I'll do anything."

"Anything?"

"Yes." He said, and this time he sounded desperate, "Please listen to me."

"Fine." She said reluctantly, allowing him to steer her to an empty broom closet. "No, Sirius. I am not going to snog you."

"Very funny." He said sourly, "Now get in, we can't have anyone hear us."

"Okay. You have five minutes." She said, "Go."

"Lily…Remus is a…well, you have to swear you won't tell anyone."

"I swear." Lily said quietly, noticing how he looked so distraught. What on earth was he about to tell her?

"Remus is a werewolf."

"Duh."

"Excuse me?" He asked, startled.

"Well, Sirius. It's not that hard to figure out. And don't worry, I haven't told anyone." She added quickly. "Okay…is that all?"

"NO!" He said, blocking her from getting past. They were lucky this was a rather large broom closet, or else they would be pressed up against each other rather uncomfortably, "There's more."

"Make it quick."

"James, Peter, and I…well, we didn't want him to have to go through every full moon alone, so…"

"Are you a werewolf, too?" She backed up against the door.

"No." He said, "I'm a…well, I'm an animagous."

"A WHAT?" She shrieked.

"Please," He begged, "Keep it down."

"But you aren't registered." She pointed out the obvious.

"I know," Sirius said, "Please…just listen."

"You better make this good," She snarled, "Do you know how dangerous that is?"

"Yes, but we had to do this for Remus."

"We?"

"Peter and James."

"BLOODY HELL! ALL THREE OF YOU?" She cried.

"Yes." Sirius said, "We had to do this…"

"No you didn't." She interrupted, "It was an extremely foolish thing to do. I mean, what could possibly have been going though your mind when you decided to risk your life to do something so stupid?"

"It's not stupid." He said, "We're helping Remus. Werewolves don't attack humans."

"Yes I know that." She snapped.

"So…we had to do this for him."

"I can't believe Remus let you do this!" She cried, "I mean…I always found him responsible…clear headed…"

"He didn't want us to," Sirius interrupted, "But we felt it was something we had to do. Remus is our best friend. And it was so painful for us to have to watch him come back all scratched up and exhausted."

"And now you can come back like that too?"

"Lily." He hissed, "Please try to understand. We weren't just being stupid kids. We had to help our friend. And so that's what we did."

They both broke off, breathing heavily. "Okay." Lily said quietly, "I guess I understand why you did it. But that doesn't mean I agree with it, and that doesn't mean that I get why you are suddenly telling me this."

"Lily." He said, leaning in closely, "Tonight is a full moon."

"Bloody hell." She murmured, and he nodded, looking into her eyes. She suddenly felt claustrophobic, so she twisted the handle and fell out of the closet. "No." She said, "No, no, no, NO!"

"Please." Sirius pleaded, "Remus is your friend, too…"

"But I'm not an animagous, you are!" She argued, "I can't do this!"

"Yes you can." He said, "I'd probably be able to become one in your body, now that I know how. But the form may be different from mine. That means my body knows how to do it. All you have to do is concentrate on a big, black dog. You have to picture every piece of fur. You have to see the ears, the nose, the mouth. Once you do that, the body should take care of the rest."

Lily bit her lip, "Sirius, this is a lot to ask. Not only to go into an animagous form, but to spend an entire night with a werewolf."

"I know." He said, "And I wouldn't have asked you if I didn't have complete and utter faith in you."

Lily smiled slightly, "Okay then. I suppose we should…get to work."

Sirius grinned, "I've said it before, and I'll say it again. YOU ARE AMAZING!"

"You've never said that before."

"Well I'm saying it now."

---

They had skipped the rest of the classes for the day, practicing becoming an animagous in empty classrooms. They didn't go to lunch, nor dinner. They were so concentrated on what had to be gone, that they forgot about the world around them.

"DAMMIT!" Lily cried, transforming back. "I didn't get the tail!"

"Try again," Sirius said soothingly, "You're doing great, okay? Just relax. My body knows what to do."

Lily screwed up her face in concentration, and soon she was back in the dog form, tail and all, but only for a split second. She transformed back again, "What if I can't go back to being human?" She asked worriedly, "Or I can't transform a-and…"

"Sh…" Sirius said, pulling her into a hug, surprising her greatly. She hugged him back. They had been practicing for uncountable hours, yet she still felt as if that wasn't enough. Even if the _body_ knew what to do, _she_ sure didn't. "James will be there, okay?" He said, "And he won't let anything happen to you."

"That would be romantic, Sirius." Lily said, pulling back, "Had I not been in your body."

He laughed, "Yeah, well, I'm his best mate. He'll protect you."

"I won't need it." Lily said firmly, "I can do this on my own."

---

Lily could feel her heart attempting to burst through her rib cage. Her breathing was rigid, and she was watching Peter transform into a rat form and hit the knot on the whomping willow, causing the branches to stop thrashing.

So far everything had gone as Sirius told her it would. Her and James scurried to the tree, still under the invisibility cloak, and watched as Peter transformed back into his own body. Once they emerged in the tunnel, they tore off the cloak and bolted down the tunnel.

Finally, they were in the Shrieking Shack, and Lily felt as if she were about to vomit.

Remus was leaning against a chair, his skin ghostly white and he was shaking. "Alright then," He said, "I…I think it's about time…"

He broke off; hIS body was shaking so vividly, that he was thrashing around the room. His bones were cracking and Lily covered her ears, feeling tears burn in her eyes. That was her friend. That boy was the nicest person she had ever met. He didn't deserve this.

"SIRIUS!" James shrieked, "COME ON!"

Lily nodded and screwed up her face in concentration. Nothing happened. She began panicking, backing away from Remus. James, who was in his stag form, looked at her pleadingly in the eye.

She nodded and once more screwed up her face, picturing the dark fur of her soon to be form. Soon, she was a black dog. Remus' skin began to ebb away to reveal fur, and his warm loving eyes disappeared to become yellow slits. He was now a werewolf.

James plowed into him, but it was half heartedly, for he didn't want to hurt his friend that was somewhere beneath that monster. They raged on, batting at each other with Peter frantically scurrying about, attempting to get the werewolf's attention if only for a second.

Lily watched in awe, her paws planted to the ground. She had never in her life realized how brave they all were, yet alone close. Friends couldn't even begin to describe the bond the Marauders had. They were brothers.

She watched as James tried to escape, looking at her with big eyes, his white coating stained red. Lily ran in, knocking into the werewolf. It took its eyes off James and went for her instead.

She remembered how much it hurt, the werewolf's claws sinking into her skin and its teeth biting every inch of flesh it could find. She whimpered but plowed on, trying desperately not to hurt him.

Something was running through her head the whole time. She really had underestimated the three of them. When she looked at James, running into the werewolf, it seemed as if his courage was undying.

Finally, at long last, Remus' bones began cracking, reforming themselves to become human once more. The three of them sighed with relief as Remus flopped on the floor, scratched up and panting.

Lily hurriedly ran to him, but James grabbed her wrist. "Remember, Padfoot? We aren't to wake him or anything."

She nodded and they all three began walking back up to the castle, draping the invisibility cloak over them. Peter volunteered to go in his rat form most of the way, so James and Lily walked underneath. He was panting, and there were beads of sweat on his face. Lily looked at him, wondering faintly why she was seeing him differently than she usually did.

Maybe it was the fact that tonight she saw what a loyal and courageous friend he was.

Lily grinned inwardly, '_James was rather handsome…_' She paused, '_As a stag, of course…_' She added quickly.

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A/N: Alright, it wasn't quite as insane as the other ones, or maybe it was, I don't know. Anyways, PLEASE review! Thanks and love you all, - Lilly.


	7. Moe

A/N: Sorry about the long wait everyone. School just started and at once I was swamped with homework. So I decided to finally finish and update this chapter. For some reason, I'm not too proud of how it panned out. But I knew I had to update, so here it is.

Reviewers: I love you all so much, thank you for all your amazing and encouraging comments. :)

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter

* * *

There were a few people scattered around in the common room, but Lily and Sirius made sure they were out of hearing range from anyone so they could discuss…things. Lily shut her book with a slam and leaned over the table to look at Sirius. "You promised." 

"What?" He asked, peering up from his potions essay.

"Last night I was a dog, _for you_. And you said that you would do anything." Her eyes were gleaming, and this frightened him somewhat.

"I said what?"

"You said you'd do anything."

"Did not."

She narrowed her eyes, "Are you denying it?"

"I believe I am."

"You prat." She hissed, "After all I did for you, you're going to deny that you ever agreed to do anything for me? That's low, even for you."

He sighed and threw down his quill, "Fine. But _one_ thing; and only one thing."

"Five." She countered.

"WHAT!"

"Sirius, you ran around in a diaper screaming at the top of your lungs. The least you can do is give me five favors." She explained.

"That's one favor, at most."

"Fine," She said, "But what about me on the full moon? That's worth four."

"That's worth one also," He said, "So two favors."

"Four."

"Three."

"Agreed." She said, opening her book back up.

"So, what are they?" He asked, wondering how on earth he was outsmarted by her. Three favors! That could be the death of him.

She shrugged, "I'll know them when I see them."

"That's cruel."

"_That's_ life."

James, Remus, and Peter were making their way over to the pair, their eyes twinkling. They stopped when they reached the table. "Excuse me, Lily. We have to borrow Sirius, here for a moment…" Together they heaved her to her feet and lugged her up the stairs to the boy's room.

"What's going on?" She wondered aloud once they plopped her on a bed.

"Tonight is a Hogsmeade night." They said simultaneously.

"No it's not." She said. Being Head Girl, she knew when the Hogsmeade dates were. Seeing as _she_ scheduled them.

"Not a scheduled one, of course." Sirius replied with a wink.

"I'm not following…" She said, and with that James replied with a smack over the head. "What was that for?"

"You know." He said, "Tonight is a night in which we go to the Three Broomsticks and drown our sorrows in some powerful alcohol.

Lily was appalled. They snuck out to drink? If they were ever caught…

She stopped herself. Who cared if they were caught? She was in Sirius' body. Nothing would happen to her per say. And plus, she really needed a butter beer after everything that had happened.

"Oh…right." She said. "When are we leaving?"

"As soon as possible." James said, "Remus is still recovering from last night, and he would have frowned upon this anyways. But I say, what the hell, let's party!"

Lily smiled, "Alright. Let me go get my book bag downstairs and then we'll go." She wondered what was going on her head to possess her to agree to such a thing, but she kept pushing that thought away. Tonight was the one night where she could do reckless and scary things, and not even get punished for them if they were caught.

Sirius stopped her as she walked back down the stairs and reached for her book bag at the table. "What did they say?" He asked nervously.

"We're going to Hogesmeade."

Sirius nodded, "Alright, I'll grab the invisibility cloak, and then I'll follow you."

She shook her head, "Oh no, I think you misunderstood. By 'we' I meant James, Peter and I. Not you."

"Excuse me?" He asked, "You can't do that. You might do something stupid."

She shrugged, "Well then here's favor number one. You don't follow. You stay here, and you leave us alone. I won't do anything stupid, alright? Why would I?"

"Oh, I don't know, say to…get back at me?" He said, somewhat angrily.

"Well," She sighed exaggeratedly, "Too bad for you. You said you'd do anything, and right now I'm telling you to stay behind, alright?"

Sirius was furious, but instead he picked up his book bag and stormed towards the couch. He was rather touchy lately, seeing as every once in a while Lily would have to change his diaper. He was rather hormonal.

She heaved her book bag up the stairs, feeling triumphant. Now was her chance to really get to know James without having Sirius breathing down her neck. She only wanted to get to know him because she wanted to see how he acted towards his friends. That was it. Nothing more.

Together, all three of them left the common room. Sirius glared at their retreating backs the whole way, knowing full well Lily was about to do something irrational.

James threw the cloak over them once they arrived at the One Eyed Witch passageway. Making sure no one was looking, they entered the tunnel and shut it before throwing off the cloak.

As they were running, James spoke, "I'm lucky I haven't had to patrol for a while. The prefects seem to be taking care of it."

Lily had completely forgotten about the whole patrolling thing, and silently thanked Merlin. It would not be good to have Sirius in her body trying to seduce James. No, that would be bad.

"When's your next Head meeting?" She asked, trying to sound like it was mere curiosity, but actually, she was nervous. She didn't want Sirius messing anything up.

"A few days or so." He said, but before she could say anything more, they had reached the end of the tunnel.

Tossing the cloak over them once more, they quickly got out threw the tile and left Honey Dukes, grateful no one had noticed.

"We've done this a lot, haven't we?" Lily asked as they strolled down the dirt road.

"Of course," Peter said, "Don't tell me you were to wasted to remember any of the times?"

"I guess I was." She said nervously.

Finally they arrived at the Three Broomsticks, and they found a seat towards the back.

"Why are we in the back again?" Lily asked, hoping she didn't sound to curious.

"We can't let Rosemerta see us." James explained. "She wont serve us alcohol besides butter beer, but everyone else who works in the pub doesn't care."

"I'll go get the drinks." Peter said, and soon he was back with rusty bottles.

"That's not butter beer." Lily said, peering at the bottle curiously.

James laughed and took a sip. "Good one, mate."

She sat back in her chair and slowly brought the bottle to her lips. She was mad at Sirius. She didn't care what happened. Plus, if she _did_ get drunk, she didn't have anything she didn't want Peter and James to know…right?

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"MOEEE!" Peter shouted in an attempt to say, 'more'. The three teenagers had more than enough alcohol to last them for quite some time.

"No more for you." The waiter grunter, squeezing himself through the crowded pub back to the front.

Peter slammed his fist on the table. "I SAID MOE!"

Lily giggled, "You…are _silly_."

"And _you_…are _wasted_." James said. He had much better alcohol control than the two before him.

"Am not." Lily said defensively, and James laughed. For some reason this made her heart expand slightly. Sure, his laugh was drunken and raspy, but it was still full of liveliness. He was so handsome. Those well structured cheek bones and toned chest.

"Why are you lookin' at me like 'dat?" James slurred. Sure, he had better alcohol control than the others, but it was far from good.

"Because you, my fwend, are be…youu…tiful…" She yawned and tipped backwards, falling on her rump on the stone floor.

Peter laughed uproariously and slammed his fists on the table once more. "MOE MOE MOEE!" He cried gleefully.

James helped her to her feet. "You gotta watch 'dat."

Lily held onto his arms so that he wouldn't pull away. "W-wait." She stuttered, "I…I wanna tell you sometin'."

"Hm?"

"You…are shmexy." She growled. She wasn't even thinking of whose body she was in. As of now, she thought she was Lily Evans, finally telling how good looking she thought James was.

"Padfoot!" He cried, attempting to push her away, "Gerr off me!"

"NO!" Lily said firmly, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Y-you gotta shut your big mouf. Liffen…lissen…_listen_…to me…"

"NO!" James cried, his mind blurry. "Y-YOU'RE INSANE."

Lily shook her head. "I'm finking clearly…"

"You j-just said 'finking.'" Peter laughed, burping. "What…the bloody hell is that?"

She hiccupped. "J-James. Look at me."

James slowly turned his head to look at who he thought was his best mate. "What are you doin' Padfoot? Why are you're lipsh all biggish and poutyish?"

"'Cause I wanna smoochie." She said in what she thought was a seductive tone.

James screamed a high pitched, terrified scream. "PADFOOT I DON'T LEAN THAT WAY."

Lily giggled, "I'm a…a _woman_, James."

He tore out of her grasp and stumbled backwards into a table, "_What_?"

"I was born with no penis." She hiccupped again. "You lurve me."

"GERR AWAY FROM ME!" James shrieked again.

"No." Lily said firmly, not thinking. Every single, somewhat sober thought that entered her mind flew away. She was wasted and Sirius was right, she was about to do something irrational.

She walked up to James slowly. His hair was mused and his eyes were glazed, yet he was still incredibly sexy. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he kicked and squirmed in her grasp.

"NO!" He bellowed. "PLEASE NO!"

Lily giggled and hiccupped again. She knew in the back of her mind she shouldn't do this. Yet there was part of her that _had_ to. His lips looked so welcoming. Well, they didn't at that exact moment, for they were pursed as he attempted to turn his head away from her.

She didn't know what was happening. She'd gotten a little tipsy before, but never like this. She had never let go completely and lose every self. But she didn't mind right then.

James, however, did. His eyes were brimming with tears. Sure, he had nothing against men who liked other men. But _Sirius_? His best mate was secretly in love with him? And he didn't even have a male reproductive system?

Lily began making smacking sounds with her lips and Peter watched with terrified, wide eyes. "J-James." She moaned.

James tried to pull back with all his might, but Sirius, or rather, Lily in Sirius' body, was just as strong. Or more like, determined. He tried with all his might to pull away, but before he could, Lily and grabbed his face and turned it towards her.

She looked at him in the eyes, and realized that she wanted nothing more than to be held by him. So, making up her mind, she slammed her mouth against his.

It was romantic to her drunken self, but before it could even deepen, James had pulled away from her, coughing and sputtering.

Peter was shielding his eyes, "NO MOE!" He cried desperately, "NO MOE!"

It was then that James' contents splattered the floor, his mind reeling.

Lily stumbled backwards, and finally the some what rational thoughts floated across her mind.

'_You just kissed James in his best mate's body._'

"Yes I know." Lily mumbled to herself.

'_You probably just blew everything._'

"I know, dammit!" She cried, smacking her brain in an attempt to get rid of the taunting voices.

'_Sirius is going to be furious._'

"Stop talking to me." She groaned, smacking her head again.

'_Yet, if you were in your body and you knew it wasn't so wrong…and that James was about to vomit moments after, you would have enjoyed it thoroughly_.'

"Yes, I know." She said softly, and for some reason, this thought disturbed her the most.

It was then that everything came pounding into her in one large painful swift, and she finally realized the full extent of what she had just done. So, with her hands cradling her head, she passed out on the pub's floor.

James couldn't think. He didn't _want_ to think, so after watching Sirius, his body seemed to follow suit, and soon he collapsed on the floor also.

So with two blacked out, drunk people strewn on the floor, Peter was left sitting on a chair, wondering how on earth he would get them back up to the castle. When the thinking began to get too much, he slowly brought up his empty bottle into the air.

"Moe?" He asked quietly, looking at the angry bartender hopefully.

* * *

A/N: Yet another insane chapter. I hope you liked it. Maybe even enough to review? I know this all seemed crazy, but believe it or not, it was neccessary for my other chapters. Thanks and love you all - Lilly. 


	8. Broken Trust

A/N: Hola everyone! Sorry about the wait. School has just started and WHAM! Right away you're bombaurded with homework. Those reading a new light, I'll try to update that sometime this weekend also. Okay, so when I began writing this story I origionally thought 10 chapters, but now I'm thinking nine. So it won't be that long of a story, but I knew it wouldn't be from the moment it started. I just wanted some fun and fluff and humor. So one 'moe' (haha, I think I'm funny) chapter should do it. If you'd like, tell me what you'd want to see in it!

REVIEWERS: Thank you sossoso much. I love you all. KEEP IT UPPP :)

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

* * *

Lily woke up, her head throbbing in a way that she had only experienced once. That experience was when she and Sirius first began switching bodies. That experience was bad, but this once was even worse. She groaned and cradled her head, wondering why she was so dizzy and distraught.

It was then that a pillow came crashing onto her face with surprising force. "Get up you arse!"

"What the sodding hell?" She cried, waving her arm about wildly, "Go away!"

"Tell me what happened last night." Sirius said angrily, "And it better explain why you are sleeping on the stairs.

She sat up quickly to find her back painfully stabbing and her whole body seemed weak and tired. "I don't know why I'm on the stairs." She mumbled, looking around the common room to see that everyone was looking at her with raised eyebrows.

The door opened and James poked his head out, obviously checking if she was still sprawled on the stairs. He shrieked and shut the door with a slam.

Lily then remembered why she felt so awful. She was in Sirius' body and she had kissed James.

She had kissed James in Sirius' body.

She was in a male's body kissing another male.

She told James she was a woman.

Bloody hell, she _did_ ruin everything!

"James, wait!" She stood up to find herself falling over once more. "Merlin." She groaned, slamming her head against the stairs repeatedly. "Why does my head hurt so sodding bad?"

"Because you have a hangover." Sirius smirked, "Go up into the dorm and get out the potion under my bed."

She nodded, but didn't stop knocking her head against the stairs, causing a large bump to appear on her forehead. "My mouth feels like sandpaper. I need water." She tilted her head up and said, just barely above a whisper, "Get…me…water…"

Sirius rolled his eyes, "Merlin, you're a baby. I stayed awake for you, but I only found Peter levitating you and James in, completely blacked out. How much _did_ you drink?"

"I don't know." She moaned, "But wait…Peter _levitated_ us up here?"

Sirius nodded, "We've found that he's actually a lot smarter when he's drunk."

Lily shook her head in disbelief, "I think…I think I screwed everything up, Sirius."

"What do you mean?" He asked sharply, "What did you do last night?"

She just shook her head and bit her lip, "I-I have to go talk to James, other wise he might find out who we really are." She stood up all determined like, before leaning against the railing in support. "But first, I need that potion."

Lily walked upstairs slowly, everything blurry. Finally she swung open the door, and Peter looked up at her before snapping his head back down. James flinched and backed away.

"Er…hi." Lily said slowly, "I uh…I came to get that potion. You know? The one that cures hangovers? 'Cause Merlin, my head feels like I slammed it against a brick wall."

She then realized that she had in fact slammed it against stone stairs, but that was besides the point.

Silence greeted her statement, and she laughed nervously, wandering over to her bed. It was like a jungle under there. A large, smelly, disgusting jungle. She wrinkled up her nose and reached under the bed, pulling b out a pair of stained pants. Rolling her eyes, she reached in once more and rummaged around until she felt her hand grasp a bottle. She pulled it out and it read, 'How to make some sexy girl love you.'

"Black." She mumbled through gritted teeth, amazed at how immature he was. Finally she found the potion and took two large gulps, her headache slowly beginning to decease.

She stumbled back to her feet and looked at the two boys, their eyes following her every movement. Lily knew she had to do something. She had to somehow make up for her mistakes without giving away any information she shouldn't. Sighing, she crossed over to James. Every step she took towards him, he took away from her.

She rolled her eyes, "I'm not going to bite you."

"Yeah, just kiss me." He mumbled.

Lily placed her hand on his forearm and he pulled away, as if burned. "James." She said impatiently, "I'm trying to explain last night to you."

"You have nothing to explain." He said, "It was an accident, I get that…"

"Stop trying to get past me and listen." She ordered. "I was so wasted last night I didn't even know what I was doing."

"You seemed pretty certain about that to me!" Peter chirped.

Lily glared at him through narrowed eyes, "Listen to me, James. I-I don't what came over me. I think I thought you were a girl. Yeah, that's it. In my mind you looked like a girl."

"Okay." James said, "I believe you."

"I don't." Peter said, "You kept saying 'James' and then you told him you were a woman. If you were a woman why would you say that to another woman?" His face contorted, "Unless you're…. Oh merlin, I don't know _what_ to think!"

Lily rolled her eyes, "Listen, James. Let me make it up to you, okay?"

He shook his head, "You know what, Sirius. You don't have to. I'm just gonna go!"

He bolted out of the room before she could do or say anything more. Lily ran her hands over her face and bit her lip. She really did screw everything up, she realized for the fiftieth time.

James reached the bottom of the stairs and saw Lily, looking confused as ever as she sat on the couch, staring blankly into the dancing fire.

"Lily!" He gasped, and she upturned her head, biting her lip softly.

But it was really Sirius who was biting his lip in frustration because the real Lily refused to tell him what was going on.

"Hey, Prongs."

"What?" James asked, his eyes widening.

Sirius breathed heavily, "Sorry. I meant James. Hey James."

James rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet, his hands stuffed in his pockets. "Listen, can I talk to you for a second?"

Sirius paused, "Actually I think any one on one time between the two of us is bad, so let's just stop talking, okay?"

He shook his head, "Lily, come on. Please?"

"No."

"Great." James said, taking his wrist and hauling his best mate to his feet and out of the common room.

Sirius rolled his eyes, "Guys really do take no for 'I'm yours, take me!'"

James pulled who he thought was Lily into an empty corridor, and leaned 'her' up against a wall.

"I-I might…kiss you." James said, putting his arms around her waist.

"No you most certainly will not!" Sirius cried, standing on his tiptoes and gagging, as if desperate for air.

But James was taking that as a yes. If Lily really didn't want him to kiss her, he thought, then she would have kicked him in the groin. And he thanked Merlin that she didn't.

But Sirius _really_ did not want James to kiss him, but he also _really_ did not want to kick him where the sun don't shine. From one guy to another, he knew the pain, and even if James was hitting on him, he didn't think that was reasonable.

James leaned down as Sirius punched his chest, kicking and squirming. James would normally have just walked away and respected his wishes, but it seemed that now he was desperate for a manly act. After that kiss with who he thought was his best mate, he needed to kiss a girl. He needed to regain some dignity, even if it was just for himself.

He slowly lowered his mouth to Sirius', who was by then pursing his lips and tipping his head towards the ceiling, thrashing from side to side.

James then kissed Sirius, but not for long. Only for about one second, for that was all Sirius would allow before he resorted to something he swore he would never do to another boy.

Sirius Black kneed James Potter in the groin.

James stumbled backwards, caving over and clutching himself.

"Merlin." He said, just above a whisper. "That was cold."

In normal circumstances Sirius would have flinched and apologized, but in that particular circumstance, Sirius was too preoccupied with gagging and continually scratching at his tongue.

James slumped to the ground, he red face contorted in pain.

"UGH!" Sirius cried, spitting at the ground. He couldn't believe what had just happened; it was making him dizzy. "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU JUST DID THAT!"

"I can't believe _you_ just did _that_." James groaned.

Sirius shook his head, trying desperately to erase the image of James' wet lips collapsing onto his. "I have to vomit." He said suddenly, "Oh Merlin, I'm going to puke…"

As he took off down the corridor, James was left to look at his retreating back. "Am I that bad of a kisser?" He wondered aloud.

When Sirius came bolting into the common room, Lily stood up abruptly. She was about to demand where he had been, but he just pushed pass her and headed up the girl's dormitories.

"YOU CAN'T GO UP THERE!" She cried, attempting to chase after him. As predicted, she tumbled back onto the floor, "COME BACK DOWN!"

Everyone was looking at her with raised eyebrows, causing her to grin sheepishly. At least none of the girls were up there, she reasoned, and with that happy thought she collapsed once more onto a couch.

James stumbled into the dorm a few moments later, his face a delicate shade of green. He limped over to the couch and threw himself beside Lily. "Hey."

Lily turned to look at him, "Hi, James."

He pulled himself into a better sitting position, "How are you?"

She shrugged, looking at the flames. "Alright, I guess. You?"

"Same."

An awkward silence followed, in which they had nothing to do but sit and stare at the flames.

"Alright." James said suddenly, "I'm going to ask you something that might seem incredibly awkward." Lily stifled a laugh, wondering what could possibly more awkward to James than his 'best mate' kissing him. "I never thought I'd ask this, especially to you, but…am I a bad kisser?"

Lily choked on absolutely nothing at all, "Excuse me?"

"I told you it what awkward." He said, running his hands through his hair, "But see, I just kissed Lily and-"

"Wait, what?!" Lily interrupted, sitting up straighter.

"I kissed Lily." James repeated, "And she kicked me in a place very dear to me."

"Way to go, Sirius." She mumbled under her breath.

"What was that?" He asked, turning to face her.

"Nothing."

"Anyways," James continued, "She ran away screaming that she had to vomit. I mean, I didn't think I was _that_ bad of a kisser."

"You aren't." Lily said quietly, making James look rather distraught. "I mean," She added quickly, "From what I remember. I was so wasted that I actually pictured you having breasts…"

"I had tits?!" He shrieked, and everyone in the common room looked over quickly. "He lowered his voice, "Is that why you kissed me?" He was eager for a reason to get over the whole kissing scenario, and it made him feel better knowing that his mate didn't know what he was doing.

"I prefer the word breasts." Lily said, "More respectful."

"_What_ did you just say?" James laughed.

"Anyways," Lily continued, "That's the only reason I kissed you. I hadn't kissed a girl in a while and I just saw you with breasts, and that made me, well…want to kiss you."

"Yeah," James said softly, "But breasts shouldn't be the reason why you like someone or kiss them."

"This coming from you?" Lily snorted.

"I mean it, Padfoot." James said, "That was the only thing I looked for a while ago. I wanted a nice body, good hair, pretty eyes, a nice arse, and of course, ti- I mean, breasts." He paused, "You have to promise you wont make fun of me Padfoot, for what I'm about to tell you."

"Pinky promise." Lily said, making a snatch for his pinky with hers.

"No, it's alright." James said, looking around cautiously to make sure no one saw, "I believe you." He took a deep breath, "I don't like Lily for her body, though it really is amazing."

"REALLY?" Lily shrieked, her face looking more than a little flattered. "I mean, uh…yeah, I think so to."

"Alright," James said awkwardly, "Anyways, for a while I just wanted to date her for a little bit, you know? But it's changed now. I mean, she's beautiful, but her body isn't the only thing I pay attention to when she talks. She's so smart, plus she's hilarious. Honestly, everything I say she has the snappiest, wittiest comeback for it."

Lily's face was now pure joy, "Go on."

"I don't what this girl's done to me, Padfoot. All I know is that there's something between us. Something bigger than just dating. I don't know why, but it's like a sixth sense. She's amazing, and…I want to get to know her more."

"She probably wants to get to know you more too." Lily said earnestly.

"No." James sighed, "She hates me, remember? Even if she agreed to go on a date with me. It was probably just some stupid dare, and she had to." He ran his hands over his face, "I don't want to give up, but I think that she wants me to, you know?"

"No-" Lily began, but he just continued.

"To have a relationship, both people have to be in it one hundred percent, and I know that she'll never really like me."

"That's not true!" Lily cried desperately.

"Yeah, and how do you know?" He asked, somewhat sourly, "You're not her."

Lily puffed out her cheeks, biting her tongue from proving him wrong. "Yeah, but I'm friends with her. Trust me, she doesn't hate you."

"Thanks, but I don't think there's anyway of proving that."

Just then Sirius came sprinting down the steps. He stopped in front of the pair of them and James cringed, bringing his legs closer to him protectively.

"Li- I mean, Sirius. I have to talk to you." Sirius said quickly, and James looked away, somewhat enviously.

"Now?" Lily asked angrily, "She was enjoying just getting to know James."

Sirius nodded, "Come on."

She stood reluctantly, "See you, James."

Both her and Sirius left the common room. "Come on," Sirius repeated, "Let's go to an empty room."

She followed him into the nearest classroom and watched him shut the door quietly.

"I don't know about you." He said suddenly, "But I can't take this anymore."

"What do you mean?" She asked, although she knew perfectly well as to what he was saying.

"I love you, Lily, you're like my sister, but I don't want to do this anymore."

Lily grinned, flattered that they had become so close, even if it was due to the most awkward situations. "I know," she said softly, "I don't want to anymore, too."

"So what do you propose we do?" He said, "Research ourselves?"

"I said we should do that from the very beginning." She said, leaning up against a desk. Her mind was still reeling from what had just happened. James really did like her. _James_, the very thought of him caused her heart to increase its speed rapidly. She had never been so flattered as she was just a few minutes ago, and it meant so much more coming from him.

"I want my body back." Sirius said, and his lip began quivering.

"Oh," Lily said, striding over to him and bringing him into a hug, rubbing his back soothingly. "I know…I know."

It was extremely odd, holding and comforting someone who was in her body. She realized that however annoying and obnoxious and perverted he may be, she still loved him anyways. And what amazed her about their relationship was the fact that they could say 'I love you' and know that they only meant it as friends. They could say those words and know that they had no hidden meaning, just from the bottom of their hearts, they really cared about each other. It truly was a brother sister relationship.

"But hey," Sirius said into her, or rather, his shoulder, "If I had to switch bodies with someone, I'm glad it was you."

Lily laughed, "Same. You may be an annoying brother I never wanted, but I really am glad that I switched with you. I love you."

Meanwhile, James was lurking down the halls, still slightly caved over slightly as he attempted to find Sirius and Lily. He was wondering if Sirius was going to tell Lily what James had told him, and he wanted to hear what she would say.

He heard their voices coming from an empty classroom and he pressed his ear up against it. All he could hear was the soft murmuring of their voices. He had a sickening feeling in his stomach. Why were they in an empty classroom? He pressed his ear harder against the door in time to hear Sirius say, 'I love you.'

He reared back as he felt his eyes narrow. He wrenched open the door angrily to see Sirius and Lily embracing each other. They pulled back immediately.

"James!" Lily said in surprise.

"How could you, Sirius?" He asked, "After all I just told you."

"It's not what it looks like." Sirius said quickly.

But James thought back to the shower incident and bathroom incident, and the fact that they had been spending so much time together. It all made sense now. They were seeing each other behind his back.

"Oh Merlin." Lily mumbled, she knew how these always went. The boys would begin fighting because they couldn't hit a girl. She breathed a sigh of relief, realizing that she, in fact, was the girl in this situation.

Natural instincts took over, and she placed herself between the two of them, holding up her hands to prevent themselves from attacking.

"What the hell are you doing, Sirius?" James asked coldly, and Lily felt her heart plummet to her feet.

Yes, she was indeed the girl, but she was also in a boy's body. And right now, she would be the one to get pummeled.

"James." Sirius said, "Nothing happened."

"Whatever." James said after a while, "I trusted you both." With that he spun around with one last sad, hurt look, and left the room.

"James!" Lily cried, following him out. Sirius grabbed her arm, preventing her from chasing after him. They both watched him walk away, still walking slightly lopsided from his incident with Sirius earlier.

As soon as he rounded the corner, Lily turned to look at Sirius with tears in her eyes. "I don't care anymore, Sirius. If it means breaking a promise to Dumbledore then so be it. We have to tell him."

Sirius ran his hands over his face, knowing full well that she was right. They were going to have to tell him.

* * *

A/N: Please read and review, I'll update soon! 


	9. Oh, Merlin

A/N: First off, I am so so so so so so x infinity and three sorry. This chapter had taken longer than any of my other ones to put up. And I'm so sorry for that. I hope you've all stuck with me. And I wouldn't blame you if you decided to smite me and not review, maybe not even read. But just so everyone knows...I will never give up on this story. Origionally, this was going to be the last chapter, yet one of my reviewers pointed out that Sirius really hasn't changed, so I added a bit more about him in this one. So maybe this is an extra treat, me saying there will be one more. Unless you want this to be over with...then, sorry.

REVIEWERS I LOVE AND AM SO SORRY. I HOPE YOU FORGIVE ME!

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

* * *

Lily smoothed down her black jacket, "How do I look?" She asked nervously. 

"Like me."

She wrinkled up her nose, "It can't be _that_ bad."

"Har-har-har." Sirius said dryly. "But remember that you _are_ me. So even if you do tell him the truth, don't expect to do any snogging until we switch back."

Lily rolled her eyes, "I highly doubt he'll want to snog _you_. Even if it really is me, I'm still in your body." She paused, "What if he doesn't listen to me? And no snogging ensues…_ever_?"

He shrugged, "Make him listen."

She turned around to leave, before spinning back around and grabbing his arm. "Remind me again why I'm doing this alone?"

"Because," He said simply, "You two have a lot to talk about. Plus, you and I both agreed this is something _you_ have to do."

She nodded uncertainly. Nervous beyond belief as to what James would say. What _she_ would say. She began wandering down the corridors nervously, practicing different approaches.

"Hey, James. It's really me, Lily. Sirius and I switched places." She bit her lip, "No…that won't do." She cleared her throat. "James, it's me, Lily. I was the one who kissed you and you really kissed Sirius. Because Sirius is Lily and right now I'm…well, I'm Sirius…."

She kicked the wall angrily, causing extreme pain to shoot through her foot. She gritted her teeth and began limping the rest of the way to the common room. She paused outside of the door, and paced back and forth uneasily.

"Password?" The Fat Lady said tiredly.

"Oh…oh yes." Lily said, "Can I ask you something?"

The large woman sitting in the frame widened her tiny eyes, "I suppose."

"What if you fall for a boy? A-and…he was your sworn enemy from day one. But the whole time he liked you but you hated him, but now you're starting to have feelings for him, but then you switched places with his best mate and then his best mate makes a great big oaf of himself, yet at this time you still hate your enemy. But then the enemy says really sweet things to you when he really thinks he's talking to his best mate, and you start to see a different side to him, but you can't do anything because you're in a boy's body and he in fact, is a boy. And you tried kissing him was but he was disgusted, so he tried regaining some manliness by kissing who he thought was you but who was really his best mate. So then the best mate and the girl want to change back so they hug but then the boy catches them canoodling and then the boy gets mad and then the girl has to tell him the truth but she just doesn't know how to."

The Fat Lady looked thoughtful, "I think you should talk to James, Lily."

"Holy Merlin." Lily gasped, "I-I…how did you…do you really?"

"I hear things when people think I'm not listening." She said mysteriously. "And James liked you from day one and you hated him, and Sirius is his best mate so now everything is falling into place."

"You're good." Lily said seriously, "I'm impressed."

The Fat Lady smiled, "Anyways, if you're looking for James he hasn't been by here in quite a while."

"Really?" Lily asked in bewilderment. "I wonder where he could have gone…"

"Hey Lily."

She spun around in alarm. "Remus, you're back!" She said, before her emerald eyes rounded, "What did you just call me?"

"Lily." He said, adjusting his dark book bag, "That _is_ your name."

Lily clutched her chest, which was still Sirius', "Bugger." She said angrily. "Anyways…I'm Sirius. I think you took one too many hits to the head if you know what I'm saying…"

He grabbed her elbow and pulled her aside, "Lily I know it's you."

"But it's not." She protested, attempting to wriggle out of his grip.

He pulled her elbow harder, leading her into an empty corridor. "I was gone for a few days, yes. But do you really find me that daft? For Merlin's sake, you two were showering together - fully clothed!"

"Shush!" She whispered, "You don't know what you're talking about!"

A couple holding hands walked down the corridor, and Remus pulled Lily further away from them. "When I got back I found Peter who filled me in on the events that had happened. I had already begun to figure it out while I was recovering, but Merlin Lily…you kissed him? That just blew away the remainder of my doubts. I'm surprised James and Peter haven't figured it out by now."

Lily raised her eyebrows.

"Alright," Remus admitted, "Maybe I'm not _that_ surprised."

She smiled, "Well, you figured us out, Remus. I'm sorry if it seems like we lied to you, but Dumbledore made us promise and…"

He put a finger to her lips, "I'm not mad. But I did run into James…and he was. What happened?"

"He saw Sirius and I hugging. That's it, Remus, I promise. I don't know…I guess he thinks that Sirius and I have been going behind his back."

"Well, we have caught you two in quite compromising situations. He probably put two and two together but came up with the wrong conclusion."

"Did he say where he was going?" Lily asked. "I have to talk to him."

"I don't know if that's the best idea…" He began, "He seemed really upset."

"Then you have to understand why I must talk to him!" She cried, "Remus, please…"

He sighed, "Alright. He's in the Room of Requirement. I'll give you directions on how to get there, but you have got to listen carefully."

Lily nodded and leaned in eagerly.

Moments later, she was pacing outside of the Room of Requirement, concentrating only on finding James. After her third time walking past, she looked up to find a wooden door. She bit her lip and turned the cool handle, swinging it open.

The first thing she noticed was that the lights were dimmed. The second thing she noticed was that she was looking at a pair of people snogging the living daylights out of each other. The third thing she noticed that one was James, and the other was Elizabeth, Sirius' not-so-secret crush. The fourth thing she noticed was that she wanted to vomit. The last thing she noticed was that, above all…she was hurt.

Yet, despite all her pain…she was angry. She then did the only thing she could think of, and that was to let her body do the work and let her mind go blurry and ignore the common sense it was trying to say.

She stomped over to the couch that just so happened to be placed romantically in front of the fire, and smacked James upside the head.

"Bloody hell!" He cried as they broke apart.

She smacked him once more. "It's been twenty minutes, James! And already you have a rebound?"

"What?!" Elizabeth cried in alarm, scrambling to her feet.

"What are you talking about, Sirius?" James asked. "I saw you and Lily! I heard everything!"

"You sad, blind little boy!" She cried angrily, shoving Elizabeth out of the way to get to him. He tried to get to his feet, but she just pushed him back down. "Nothing happened! Okay? Can you get that through your thick oaf of a brain?"

James stood and pushed her backwards. "What did you just say to me?"

"I said nothing happened you prat!"

He pushed her again, "Do you have any idea how much I like her?"

"OBVIOUSLY NOT AT ALL IF YOU'RE WILLING TO SNOG THIS GIRL AFTER TWENTY MINUTES OF BEING 'HEART BROKEN.'"

"YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT BEING HEARTBROKEN, SIRIUS!"

"THE HELL I DON'T!" She shrieked, "IT'S HAPPENED TO ME BEFORE, JAMES."

"Oh yeah?" He said through gritted teeth, a vein in his temple throbbing. "Who? Who broke your heart?"

"You." She cried, "You've just broken my heart!"

He stumbled backwards as Elizabeth clutched her heart in alarm. She felt incredibly used that James was only using her as a rebound, yet she knew that right from the very beginning. He was a rebound for her, too.

"Wait…Sirius…" Elizabeth was the first to regain her voice, "Did you and James have…a thing?"

Lily was busy rubbing her temples. She had dug herself into an even deeper hole. She knew she had to tell James the truth, but she couldn't while Elizabeth was there.

"No we did not!" James shrieked, "Tell her, Sirius. Tell her nothing was going on between us!"

"Nothing was going on between us." Lily grumbled. "But Elizabeth, can you leave us alone for a second?"

Her eyes widened, "Sirius, what's going on?"

"We just need some alone time!" Lily cried. "Get out! Out, out, OUT!"

Elizabeth scurried to the door, with James following.

"JAMES, WAIT!" Lily cried.

He shook his head as he reached the door, "I don't want to deal with this, Sirius." And with that he slammed the door.

Lily slumped to the floor and cradled her head in her hands.

James, meanwhile, was racing down the hall with Elizabeth at his side. Finally, they came to a halt in front of the portrait hole, where Sirius was leaning against the wall.

"Lily!" Elizabeth cried, and Sirius turned in alarm.

"Yeah?"

"Can I talk to you?" He nodded uncertainly and brushed past the fuming James into the Common Room. "Let's go upstairs and talk." She said.

Together they trooped upstairs and into the girls dorm. "What's up?" Sirius asked, trying desperately to sound normal. He had never been in the girl's dorms before, and he was nervous if the real Lily were to find out.

His eyes scanned the room quickly until he spotted something lying on the floor. He squinted until he could make out the faint outline of what he thought were knickers. The corners of his lips curved into a grin.

Elizabeth followed his eyes until she spotted what he was looking at. She shook her head slowly, "I have no idea what's going on. But to be honest, it's creeping me out. You never sleep in your bed anymore, you're spending so much time with Sirius it's almost as if-" Her eyes widened, "Are you two…seeing each other?"

"No." Sirius said firmly.

Elizabeth shrugged, strands of hair from her loose pony falling about her face. "I barely see you anymore, Lil… it's almost as if you're a different person."

"Yeah, well I'm not!" Sirius said defensively.

"Alright, alright." She said cautiously, "But…do you understand what I'm saying? This whole week I've barely seen you."

"I'm sorry." Sirius said, standing up. "But Sirius and I have been doing a Potion's project together, and that's why we need to spend a lot of time with each other."

"I'm in your Potions class." Elizabeth noted, "There's not a project due."

"Yeah, well…it's top secret."

"Is it now?" She raised her eyebrows, "Listen, Lily, I can tell that something is up. Why can't you tell me?"

"Nothing is up." Sirius said in his best "honest" voice. "Pinky promise."

"Okay?" She said, giving him an odd look. She bit her lip, "Truth be told, I'm completely relieved that you aren't with Sirius."

"Why?" He asked quickly, "Do you have feelings for him?"

"Of course not!" She cried, "He's a pig. That's why I didn't want you two together. You could do so much better."

"He is not a pig." Sirius said defensively.

Elizabeth snorted, "Yeah, and I'm a man."

"Anything is possible." He said seriously, considering Elizabeth was actually talking to a male.

"Alright," She said after a while, "Yeah, I did like him for a while…but then I thought about why. I mean sure, he's really attractive. And yeah, he's funny and smells really nice. But beyond all that…beyond the exterior…lies a pig. It's disgusting what he does to girls. Uses them. I know myself, and I know I can do much better than _him_."

Sirius blinked, his mouth hanging open. "He's not all that bad once you get to know him…"

"Are you actually defending him?" She asked in alarm.

"Yes." He said after a while, "He's not a bad guy."

"If he's not a bad guy then he should prove it." Elizabeth paused, "Besides…I don't think I'm his type."

"I think you are." He said quickly, "I'm sure he'd really like you."

"No…you don't understand…" She paused, "I'm missing something that apparently he's attracted to."

"And what might that be?" Sirius asked, beginning to get a bit worried.

She took a deep breath. "A…a penis. I think Sirius Black is attracted to men."

He stared in disbelief, "What makes you think that?"

"I believe that he and James had something…you know."

"No they didn't." Sirius said quickly, "They most certainly did not."

"You didn't hear Sirius ranting about how James broke his heart, Lily." Elizabeth said.

"Oh Merlin." Sirius groaned. "I've had enough. Elizabeth, there's something you need to know."

* * *

A/N: I hope it wasn't TOO dissapointing. There were probably several spelling mistakes. But i'm about ready to pass out from sleepines...(it's midnight) so I was going to reread over it and check it tomorrow, then realized it most likely wouldn't get done. I didn't want to keep you guys waiting any longer, and i hope you sustained you're cravings...maybe even enough for you to stick with me. Now I'm almost positive next chapter will be the last. THANKS AND LOVE YOU ALL!


	10. Library Strippings

A/N: Oh boy. Oh boy oh boy. I'm so sorry, I don't even know what to say. It's been foreverrrr since I've updated and i dont even know if this chapter will live up to your expectations, because its not very funny... Maybe that was part of the reason why i didnt update for so long, but another part of course, was laziness. And then of course i've been busy, but hey! I told you all i wouldn't forget about this story!

REVIEWERS I LOVE YOU ALL THANK YOU SOOSOO MUCH FOR STICKING WITH ME.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

If anyone has an idea for a story, i'd love to hear it. Seeing as I don't know what to do with myself now that this story is finished.

* * *

Lily blew her hair out of her eyes with a sigh, her chin resting in her palm. She tiredly turned the dusty page of the large book that was resting on one of the tables in the library. She felt her eyes begin to flutter close, but quickly shook herself, forcing her eyes to scan the page of potions in front of her. She found herself jerking out of her reverie quite suddenly as someone came blundering into the library. Lily narrowed her eyes at Sirius, could he make anymore of a ruckus?

Panting, he spotted Lily and quickened his pace. When he reached the table, or rather, stumbled into it with a surprising amount of force, he splayed his palms across the table and said heavily, "She's after me."

"Who is after you?" She asked bitterly, heaving the book that Sirius had caused to fall onto her off of her lap.

"Elizabeth." He said, looking over his shoulder worriedly. "I think she might kill me."

Lily rolled her eyes, slamming her book closed and getting to her feet, "Why would she want to kill you?"

"Because I told her who we really were."

"You WHAT?!" Lily shrieked. Ignoring the librarian's disapproving glare, she leaned across the table and grabbed a fistful of Sirius' robes. "If you weren't in my body I think I'd have to kill you, too."

"Lily." He said, plucking off her hand with some struggle, "You're looking like an abuser again."

She gritted her teeth and strode around the table, leaning so close to his, or rather, her own face, that she was a mere two inches away. "_What _were you thinking?"

"I was thinking that I'm tired of keeping this a secret. Who knows how long we're going to be stuck like this? People are bound to know."

Lily took a few deep breaths, struggling to remain calm, "I thought," She said between clenched teeth, "That we had agreed to _only_ tell James."

He took a step back, "Yeah, well, that was before I decided that I should tell Elizabeth." He gazed at the books scattered about on the table, "What were you doing?"

"Researching." She snapped, "Now, tell me exactly what you said."

"What does it matter?" He said, sighing as if Lily was a great drag, "I told her that I'm really Sirius and you're really Lily and she sort of…lost it, I guess."

"You don't say." She said in mock wonder, "I would have been completely calm and accepting and one hundred percent believing."

"I know, right?" Sirius said, "That's why I don't get why she didn't believe me…" He trailed off, "Oh, you were joking, weren't you?"

"You don't miss a thing."

"Anyways, she started chasing me out of the room, screaming that I was mad." He rubbed the back of his neck, "I'm pretty sure the friendship between you two is over."

Lily grabbed his arm in a claw like grip, "You are the most infuriating, thick minded…"

"Lovers quarrel?" James asked from behind, causing startled leaps from the both of them.

Sirius rubbed his arm sorely, "James, you great oaf. Stop jumping to conclusions and listen to us."

James folded his arms, "I don't know if I want to hear what you two have to say."

Lily stared at him, her cheeks flushing. She had just pronounced her love for him in his best mate's body….

"I'm not Lily Evans." Sirius blurted. "I'm Sirius Black in Lily's body."

"We accidentally drank a potion that caused us to sort of switch places." Lily said hurriedly upon seeing James' disbelieving look.

James said nothing, in fact, he did something quite surprising. He rubbed his temples and walked around the table, leaving Sirius and Lily to stare at the ground.

"It was worth a shot." Sirius mumbled.

It was then that their head aches returned. They were just as painful as the ones they had received upon switching bodies, which could only mean one thing….

"We're switching back!" Lily said excitedly, her eyes began to water with pain.

"Wait a minute…" Sirius said as the pain began to subside, "I'm still you." He whirled around to see James, standing over him triumphantly, his shoe in his hand.

James Potter had in fact smacked the pair of them on the top of their head with his shoe.

"YOU DO REALIZE YOU JUST HIT A GIRL!" Lily shouted angrily.

James shook his head, "I can't be sure which one is Sirius and which one is Lily, so I hit you both, just in case."

"OH I'M DONE WITH THIS!" Lily screamed, earning a reproachful look from the librarian who was busy clambering to her feet.

Lily bent down and pulled off her shoes, "These…" She said, "Are not mine." At this she threw them viciously at James." She removed Sirius' cloak and thrust it aside, "That isn't mine." She pulled off her shirt, now revealing Sirius' bare chest, "That is _not_ my shirt." She was breathing heavily, her face screwed up in rage, "AND THESE!" She shouted, tearing off her trousers, "ARE NOT MY PANTS!"

"MR. BLACK!" Squealed the librarian. "THAT IS QUITE ENOUGH!"

The students scattered around the library were getting to their feet, looking towards the three students curiously.

Lily looked down at Sirius' body, which was now clad in only boxers and dark socks.

"THIS IS NOT MY BODY!" She cried desperately.

"YEAH!" Sirius shouted, having already removed his cloak and now heading for his blouse, "THIS IS NOT MY SHIRT."

"DON'T!" Lily whirled around to face him, her finger that was jammed into his chest shook angrily, "YOU DARE REMOVE THAT SHIRT."

"I'm calling Mr. Filtch!" The librarian said, scurrying out of the library.

"THIS IS NOT MY BODY!" Sirius said, then, gazing over his real body, the one that Lily was currently fuming in, muttered, "That one is…thank Merlin…it's gorgeous…"

James' eyebrows were lost somewhere in his hairline. He had stumbled back into chairs upon hearing Lily's fuming rampage.

"No…it can't be." He said, his eyes trailing from Sirius back to Lily.

"Potter." Lily said through clenched teeth, "Can you please find it in yourself to get it through that thick oaf of a brain…"

"Don't be such an arse." Sirius said to James.

Students were now milling into the library upon hearing the commotion, several girls swooning at Sirius' half naked body.

James watched in awe as who he thought was Lily trail her hand over Sirius' bare chest, "Oh how I've missed my chizzled stomach…."

Lily smacked his hand away in annoyance.

"Bloody Hell." James whispered, looking at Sirius, "It_ is _you Sirius…."

"Mr. Black, Miss Evans." Came a stern voice.

Lily felt her heart plummet, "Professor McGonnagall."

"I will see you two in my office, immediately." Her lips were barely visible as she nodded curtly, indicating for Lily and Sirius to follow her. She turned on her heel and swept away, leaving James to gaze at the two before him. More than half the school was trying to shove their way into the library, but James could feel the anger pulsing through his veins.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"We wanted to…" Lily said.

"But Dumbledore made us promise not to." Sirius finished.

"What about the promise you made to always be honest with me?" James said, the anger beginning to ebb away as hurt began to take over. "I trusted you both."

With that he swept pass them, a dreadful silence following as the students parted to make room for him to pass through them.

Lily and Sirius looked at each other sadly before following him out. A few girls winked at Lily, still in Sirius' body as they left. They reached McGonagall's office and entered without bothering to knock, throwing themselves in chairs across from her desk.

Their Professor thrust open a drawer and scrambled inside for a moment, before revealing two small bottles filled with a dark, thick liquid. She slammed them on top of her desk and leaned forward, her eyebrows narrowed so that they made a thin line.

"What do you both think you were doing?" She asked crisply, "I expected better, especially from you Miss Evans. When Professor Dumbledore told you to keep this a secret, I do believe that removing your clothes in the middle of the library and causing a scene is not the best way to uphold your promise."

She took a deep breath, her eyes flashing, "And you, Mr. Black. Running around in a diaper…" She paused, and for a moment, Sirius and Lily could have sworn they saw a shadow of a smile sweep across her eyes before they narrowed once more, "I know that this must not be easy."

They nodded glumly.

"And I know you're trying your best, but that simply is not good enough." She paused, "For the most part, you two have kept your heads. Aside from the scenes the pair of you have caused, I know you that you have tried. I trust you've learned something from this experience?"

They blinked, "Well," Lily spoke first, "I don't know what you mean by learned, but I guess you can say that I've learned quite a bit about Sirius."

"And I about Lily." He said, grinning slightly.

"I see." Professor McGonagall said, her voice beginning to soften, "I know you two don't get along, but…"

"Actually," Sirius interrupted, "I'm kind of starting to warm up to her." He winked, "When she's not trying to hex me into next century."

Lily sighed, "Professor, we're really sorry. It's just all of this stress and on top of that schoolwork…"

Professor McGonagall held up her hand to silence her, "I have no doubt you two half been under enormous amounts of stress. However, that does not mean I am not extremely dissapointed in the pair of you."

"Here," She said, shoving the bottles toward them, "Take a drink both of you."

"What is it?" Sirius asked skeptically, carefully removing the lid.

"A potion." She said, smiling slightly, "To return you back to your former selves."

Lily gagged on her spit, "WHAT?!"

"Professor Dumbledore had it concocted this morning." She said, "You two should be very pleased, with all he has going on, it's a wonder he made time to do something like this…."

Sirius raised his shaking fingers to the bottle just as Lily did the same. They turned to each other slowly, "Well," He said, "I guess this is it. Cheers."

The both downed half of the bottle, just to be sure. Just when they were both thinking that this was some sort of cruel joke, they felt it – a strong feeling that seemed to grip their heart and jerk their bodies slightly. They laid panting, sliding down in the chairs moments later.

Lily slowly turned her head and felt tears of joy sting the back of her eyes, "Sirius!" She cried, "Have I ever told you how incredibly handsome you are? I never thought I'd be as happy as I am now to see your face…."

Sirius brought her into a hug, his arms trembling as he rubbed her back in small circles. "We're back." He said, "I'm a man again."

"Boy." Lily corrected him, pulling back and smiling.

"Very well," Said Professor McGonagall sternly, but the corners of her mouth twitched. "Mr. Black, could you please go back to the library and put your clothes back on?"

* * *

Lily stared at the fire that night, hugging her arms to herself and rocking back and forth. She was back in her own body, yet why did she feel so…empty? She sighed and brushed her hair off of her face, watching the flames lick the inside of their crate.

"Er…Lily?" Came an uncertain voice from behind her.

Lily spun around, "James!" She said, almost breathlessly, "What are you doing here?" For all she knew everyone else had gone to bed.

"I live here."

"Oh…" She felt a blush creep into her cheeks, "Right. Good night then."

She turned back to the fire, silently pleading with herself to turn back around. To say something…anything, but she stared firmly at the dancing flames, although her figure seemed to droop slightly more.

A few moments later she felt a hand place itself lightly upon her cheek. She upturned her head slowly to look at James. "James, I-"

"Lily, you could have at least told me that you and Sirius and switched back." He was smiling slightly. "A while after the library incident I realized I had over reacted, so I went to find you, thinking you were still in Sirius' body. I found him and I began giving this big speech, but then Sirius turned around and was all, 'James. I'm Sirius again.'" James paused, "Merlin, you two have a lot of explaining to do."

"I know. And James I'm sorry we hurt you. We should have told you sooner."

"Wait." He said suddenly, "So all this time Sirius was really…you?"

She nodded.

"So…that time at The Three Broomsticks…when Sirius kissed me that was really you?"

She nodded.

"But of course…you were really drunk," He added hurriedly.

She nodded.

"But I can't help but wonder if you…I don't know…kind of…"

"I knew what I was doing." She interrupted.

He smiled, "Y-you mean you meant to?"

"Of course." She said, "I saw a different side of you when I was in Sirius' body."

James winced, "Is that good or bad?"

"James Potter, use your brain." She laughed, "I kissed you didn't I? I came onto you in the Room of Requirement. I made Sirius seem like he was completely in love with you…"

"Are you?" He asked suddenly, finally removing his hand from her cheek and sitting down next to her. He gazed at her intently, "Did you mean all that stuff you did? Or was it a prank against Sirius?"

She gave a sort of half smile. "Did you mean what you said to 'Sirius' on the couch? About you really liking me?"

"Of course." He paused. "So what happens next? This all seems so sudden. First you hated me, then Sirius seemed like he liked me, then I figure out you two had switched bodies, then you switch back just as I am beginning to accept it, and now. Now I don't know what's happening."

She shrugged, "What do you want to happen?"

"I want to kiss you." He said without hesitation. "The real you. Not you in Sirius' body. Not your body with Sirius in it just waiting to knee me just below the belt."

They paused and laughed.

"I want to kiss you, too." She said, "In my own body, that is."

He leaned forward slightly, capturing her lips with his. "You have no idea how long I've waited for that." James said as they pulled back.

Sirius scrambled through the portrait hole. "That was cute." He said as they leaned in once more. "And about time."

He sprinted over and flew onto the couch, laying across their laps and crushing them both. They laughed and leaned back to watch the fire.

"Everyone in the school knows about us, Lil." Sirius said, looking up at Lily.

"I know." She said softly, patting his head. "But it's alright, at least that will clear up all of the awkward situations we had." She paused, "Even though that was one of the most horrific experiences of my life, us changing bodies, I'm not entirely sure I'm completely upset that it happened." She looked at James. "A few good things have come out of it."

"You're telling me." Sirius said, "Elizabeth agreed to go out to dinner with me." He paused, "After we had talked things over and she decided not to kill me of course."

They sat staring at the fire for quite some time before Lily began to feel her eyelids get heavy. She slowly leaned her head on James' shoulder and drifted off into a comfortable sleep.

"I'm glad you two returned to your rightful bodies." James said to Sirius suddenly.

"I am too, mate," Sirius said, watching the flames, "I am too."

* * *

A/N: I don't know you guys...i don't know. Ah well. i tried, and its 1:40 in the morning. and i know it wasnt that humorous, but this story was kind of goofy so hopefully the earlier chapters made up for that. if you want a funny story, just give me an idea and I'll see what i can do. I'm still gonna update stories, so dont forget about me!

I LOVE YOU ALL!


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